Saturday, July 12, 2008

Moth Snuffocator - Yes; Dust Bag - No

IMG_0005 Lewyt vacuum cleaner 1950s

Tell me this does NOT come with a baby that does all the vacuuming. Because that is just too weird. Although when you look at the breathless copy extolling the virtues of the Lewyt it is hard to tell just what is being referred to. Let's have a look:

1. No muss- no fuss [OK, that's probably the vacuum cleaner]
2. No whining roar [Hmmm...ditto, I think]
3. Powerful over-size motor [Could be the baby, if he's a hard worker - he'd need an oversize motor to work that huge thing]
4. Carpet nozzle, filter system [Yeah, OK, OK, that's the Lewyt! Maybe this joke isn't going to work as well as I thought]
5. Cleans in 32-foor radius [Whew, that's probably the baby...]
6. Does every cleaning job! [What an amazing child, no wonder the woman in the ad looks so happy]
7. Backed by written guarantee, comes with all attachments [Could be either. Probably both! ]
8. Greatest dollar-value! [Because he's happy to get paid in Krispy Kritters - that was a cereal snacky thing I was aparently quite fond of when I was a toddler in the mid-1960s]

You will have a "revolutionary advantage" when you clean with a Lewyt. You are rebelling against dust and dirt, doesn't that sound cool? Also you can save up all your dirt in the extra-big "Speed Sak" which apparently only needs changing a few times a year. Have they not considered just how much dirt I might be able to get into that Speed Sak? Considering things like the children helping bring in the dust and dirt and so on. Which is why the baby looks so delighted - perhaps he is really about to empty the Speed Sak back over the floor.

But wait, there's more! When you are done you can put the nozzle on your hand. It's powerful! Yeah, a good time will be had by all.

Just don't forget to pay out those Krispy Kritters. And if your little helper drops them on the floor, I'm afraid you're going to have to stop using the nozzle to try and get off your old nail polish. And stop listening to the canister unit like it's a hi-fi. That baby just quit, you know - 'cause using the Lewyt isn't really that much fun. Even if there's a Moth Snuffocator attachment involved.

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