Sunday, July 27, 2008

Mum's the Word

LHJ 1946 Mum

Trouble in the boudoir! Or wherever this is. Could be a sound stage. Could be a large lightbox. I don't really know what's going on or who is talking to this startled dame. Perhaps it is the voice of her conscience! Or her armpits are talking to her, maybe. I would look scared too if that happened!

"It isn't your necklace they'll notice, Pet!" You can put on all the jewels and "trinkets" you've got in the boxes there, but how can anyone appreciate their sparkly goodness when they've passed out on the floor! That's a fine thing for a disembodied voice to say. How rude!

Then comes the compliment: "It's a gift - the way you wear jewels for smart effect." (It's even smarter if you also remember to put your dress on, but let's not get ahead of ourselves).

"But, honey, can't you see? Even the loveliest of trinkets fails to be effective when charm itself fades away!" Out come the euphemisms. Can she see? You mean, can she smell, don't you, Voice of Mum? You mean, how come she hasn't "faded away" and fainted from the miasma, don't you?

"Creamy, snow-white Mum" to the rescue. Smear it on, sister! It won't harm your clothes, we promise (this is, of course, a lie - I remember using Tussy cream in the early 1970s and boy howdy does it get on everything, or what). In the picture at the end of the ad, see, she is using it (I think that is her, but her bottom half has disappeared - Mum is powerful stuff I guess! - and the jar of Mum is as big as she is. I'll bet it has a big mouth, too, this is what's talking. Maybe it'll go out to the party with her, hide under the table, and talk for her like Cyrano de Bergerac).

"Why take chances with your charm when you can trust Mum?" Oh, well - why not do both. Go ahead, use some deodorant, but also - take some chances with your charm. That sounds interesting. I want to know what sort of chances Pet is taking.

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