Monday, September 22, 2008

Can This Water Pik Be Saved?

I was running around town 24/7 trying to find a birthday present for Mr. Fussbudget over there - and nothing ever suited him! Believe me, doctor, I tried. I got him mood cufflinks - they turned grey on him, that means he was in a bad mood.

Like I needed the cufflinks to let me in on that.

Oh- and the ascot? The one that glowed in the dark? I thought maybe after staying out all night, he might need it to find his way upstairs. I turn the lights off at midnight around here. It's not an all night bar and grill, you know!

And the aftershave? The Ben Franklin's "Electricity"? I don't know, I guess I was getting a little desperate by then. You must know how it is, doctor - you've been in the mall for hours, pacing around like a polar bear on a fake iceberg at the zoo. You can't even remember what the hell it is you came in for!

Finally I found him a shower head thingie for Christmas. Heaven knows he'd been hinting for months. I mean, complaining. Lucille, he'd go, there's nothing coming out of the damn shower! Water must be flowing backwards! Might as well go down to the post office and wash myself on the sponge they use to wet the stamps.

Oh shut up, Calvin, let me finish. You know what you can do with the post office sponge, don't you?

NOTE: Thank you so much to all my readers from my WordPress incarnation for moving over here with me! I am putting up the old archives, working backwards (retro-actively?) - September first, then August and so on back to January when it all began. I'm really sorry that the amazing comments aren't over here yet as I have to cut and paste for now...And welcome to anyone coming here via Entrecard (or elsewhere) - sit down on a packing case and have some instant coffee (sorry it's a bit of a mess, you know how it is when you are moving).


Lea-Ann said...

This guy is so ungrateful! Dang!

Amy said...

hey how did you import your posts into blogger from wordpress?
And huh? He wanted a showerhead for Christmas?

Lux said...

Hi, Lidian! I wasn't aware of this blog until now - cool! :)