Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Doing Unspeakable Things To Berries

Tell me, what exactly DID Sir John Gielgud do to juniper berries? Not all of them, of course. Just some juniper berries.

He was in between performances of Macbeth, it looks like. And had some time on his hands. He knew all his lines, so why not make some gin? A refreshing hobby!

However, he IS looking rather worried here, don't you think? Glancing off to stage left, as if an enraged sackful of "Italian juniper berries" have just exploded out of their burlappy confines and are bearing down on him like a hive of angry bees.

Now if they were Canadian juniper berries, they would just hang out in the sack and feel a bit annoyed. Maybe write a letter to the newspaper.

Run, run like the wind, Sir John! Those juniper berries do not like it when you do things to them - especially, ahem, unspeakable things.

He looks like he needs a wee nip of the profits.

But of course it is not Gielgud after all. It is a man pretending to be Alexander Gordon, he of the Gordon's Gin. Not Gielgud's Gin.

You'll notice just what a saucy ad this is when you get to the bit about him taking the berries "and...well, something exciting happened."

Yeah, like what? I really want to know. The end result was gin, but - why be so coy? What unspeakable things is this ersatz Macbeth doing to - to juniper berries?

I'm trying to imagine it, but it is hard. Whatever floats your boat, I guess. As long as it's floating on that Distilled Dry London Gin.

Advertisement from a 1967 Reader's Digest.


Erica said...

Thus did the world finally learn exactly what IS under a Scotsman's kilt -- his juniper berries.

(Really, Gin Ad, not everything is improved with sexual overtones!)

Grace said...

I just started reading your blog and I really like it! That vintage Gordon's ad is awesome.

The reason I am commenting is that I work for Matchstick, a word of mouth marketing company, and we're selecting young, fun female bloggers in Canada to sample a new perfume we're promoting. It would be really interesting to get an opinion on scents from a foodie! There's a short qualifying survey and then we can send you a sample kit! If you're interested, drop me a line at

I hope to hear from you!


Bill said...

Whatever this fellow did may have been unspeakable, but he doesn't look a bit repentant.

~~louise~~ said...

First, let me say, welcome back, YOU look Magnificent! (your blog that is:)

Second, I could hardly stop myself from giggling at that funny looking man. He needs more that a few nips...

Third, Thank you, thank you, for my first ever blog award. I really appreciate it!

Tori Lennox said...

Why do I keep thinking juniper berries are poisonous???

Amy said...

Maybe all the juniper berries got fed up with being mistreated and got their own back on him. Juniper Berry stampede!

Jennifer said...

You had me laughing out loud! Thank goodness I didn't wake the kids! I need to not visit while the kids are asleep! I should have known better. lol

Emjoi Gently said...

I think it has something to do with the urban legends you hear about gerbils and Richard Gere.