Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Glymiel Jelly: The Musical

Oh, isn't that a beautiful poem! Or maybe it's a song. And just like the people in the old MGM musicals, they all seem to know the words.

How do they figure the probability of that? People in real life don't burst into song (or rhyming verse) - well, not really for any reason. But certainly not because they have a little tube of pretend Vaseline on hand.

Wouldn't that be a pain, to live with any of these people? They'd be bursting into song at 7 am because they had a bowl of cornflakes in front of them. Or because of the beauteous natural world out in the backyard. The sun shining, the birds making a racket. You know.

You know what we have out back in the morning? A squirrel who stores all his stale kaiser rolls up in the roof overhang of the back porch. Then he goes and sits on the fence and gnaws on a piece of kaiser roll.

Meanwhile there are similar things going on at the table. The bread is less stale, though. And we don't burst into song, naturally.

Anyway - Glymiel Jelly. Use it and you will have fun, they say. But being out in the wind and dust and sun - I don't see any pleasure in that. It sounds terrible, I don't care how soft and smooth my hands might be.

How about we all stay far away from the wind and dust and sun, hire a gardener, and sit on the back porch with a lemonade? Now that could be fun.

And even if you're just sitting out there, Glymiel would still make you so happy that you too will be reciting little poems all day long.

On the subway, in the deli,
When watching garbage on the telly
Or while digesting vermicelli

Treat your hands to Glymiel Jelly!

Just don't start up before people have had their coffee, that's all.


~~louise~~ said...

I've been known to "burst" into song in the morning. "The best thing about waking up is Folger's in your cup." Of course that's when my hands have had a good night's rest wrapped up in petroleum jelly...and my significant other has perked the coffee. Yes, coffee is perked in my house...

deli, telly, vermicelli! I LOVE it!

Jewelgirl said...

How do you pronounce that?
I see you've been VERY busy!
Welcome back to Blogger! :)

Chat Blanc said...

that is epic hokey! and really I'm opposed to putting anything on my skin that includes the word "jelly" in the name. ew!

Anonymous said...


(This is not a comment to this specific post. I failed to find your email and therefore write you here instead. Would you please get back to be by email? Carl@factualtv.com)

My name is Carl and I represent factualTV. A themed intereset web tv site. We were recently mentioned in an article in c21.

I wonder if you would consider mentioning us in your blog or just post a link? Is there a mailadress on which I could contact you? If so please let me know, I would like to send you some material and also answer any questions that you might have.

All the best,



Erica said...

I'm weirded out by the whole "suntan without sunburn" angle... is it supposed to be a fake tanner (or a sunblock) in addition to grease?

I certainly wouldn't buy anything that put me at risk of random fits of musical rhyme.

Melissa said...

This classic! Thanks for sharing, I too tend to break out in song. LOL

Lea-Ann said...

I really enjoy reading your blog, and do so most every day. I was a little saddened by your taking the Lord's name in vain in this post.

Lidian said...

Thanks all, as usual, for the great comments!

Carl - I will be getting back to you. I thought my e mail was sort of out there, but I will check.

Lea-Ann - On rereading this post, I realized that that word didn't actually help the rhythm of the sentence - and also, I never want to offend anyone. So for both reasons, it's outta there.