Saturday, September 27, 2008

The Hostile Leggings

OK, now this is important! So listen up. The look for fall is fake-leather leggings. Wet-look, fake-leather leggings.

This is, in fact, "fall's favorite leisure look." I didn't know that the season actually cared about what we were wearing. I guess it doesn't care that vinyl leatherette plus a back zipper equals the need to carry a crowbar around in your purse so you can be efficient in the washroom.

Still, fashion is a cruel taskmaster. And when you team these leggings with that lovely nylon sweater on one of those starts-cool, becomes-ridiculously-hot fall days, you will know exactly what that means.

The model even has that unbreathing sweater tucked in! How can she smile? How can she possibly be happy about this situation?

And will you look at her friend! Her friend's entire top half has disappeared. Now, that's unhappy.

So here's Frederick's of Hollywood - blaming fall for these terrible clothes. How dare he/they claim that delightful autumn is responsible? Everyone knows that if fall has any favorite fashions, they are cotton T shirts, jeans and a cotton knit sweater.

Cotton! Cotton is fall's favorite, Frederick. Not leatherette. And not nylon. I think you are projecting. I think that they are your favorites.

I can just hear the analyst now. Tell me - how long have you been projecting your own likes and dislikes onto inanimate representations of the seasons?

And the model - how much hostility is she concealing, do you think? And how much therapy is she going to be needing after the fashion shoot?

Never mind what sort of treatment her semi-apparent colleague will be requiring...


Amy said...

Those look like "Peggy Bundy" trousers. hmm funnily enough I use to have a pair similar in the 90's when I had that pre pregnancy body.

Jennifer said...

I had a pair similar when I was a teen! What was I thinking?? Now one of those pictures I need to use for a 'Fro Me post! Haha!

Grr, Midnight & Cocoa said...

Now I've got the giggles. What's more, I'm terribly distracted by the model's very ugly toes. Plus, my mom has those same pointy bras - still does. Weird.

Chat Blanc said...

It makes my skin crawl just looking at the ad! But the worst part is. . . the look of those pants is BACK! yikes!!

Lux said...

Elaine here: Oh no, please don't tell me that look is *back! LOL. I'm going to have nightmares about that tucked in shirt!

Melanie said...

What I want to know is why that woman's toes are hanging off the end of her sandals. Looks like a terribly uncomfortable way to walk, if indeed she can even walk in those pants.

Actually they remind me an awful lot of the nylon parachute pants we wore in the 80's.

I'm kind of hoping that tucked in shirt thing makes a comeback. My hips my have widened out a bit, but I've still got the waist to carry off the tucked in look.

Rochelle R. said...

The half a body model gives me the creeps. I agree with Amy they do look like something Peggy Bundy would wear.

Condo Blues said...

There is only person on this earth who could make those pants look good - Brini Maxwell!