Friday, September 19, 2008

The Mysteries Of Salad Dressing

Tell me, was this stuff ever mysterious in the first place? I don't think so! Even when I was a kid, and a lot of things were mysterious - French dressing was totally obvious. It's orange, it comes in the bottle, you throw it on the iceberg lettuce wedge and voila! salad!

Other things were mysterious, yes. Like why there was a black-licorice Chuckle at all. Why L'Eggs tights were so uncomfortable (it's like they gave up, design-wise, after they thought of an egg-shaped container). Why they stopped making chocolate No-Cal soda (that stuff was excellent).

And why, in the Ladies' Home Journal, did the counselor always manage to happy things up for the "Can This Marriage Be Saved?" couple.

And why were the Scooby Doo gang (and Nancy Drew for that matter) always, always on vacation? During which there was an inevitable mystery to be solved. Doesn't this make the concept of vacation kind of a moot point? If you are always going on vacation, does it not cease, technically, to be a vacation?

And furthermore - when can I test that theory?

Anyway...salad dressing. Yes. Back to it.

This French dressing does seem to be more of a vinaigrette than anything else. Which makes sense since the ad is for olive oil. I get it. No mystery there.

I still don't understand what the black mask has to do with it, though.

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