Monday, September 8, 2008

Party Dos And Donuts

"There's party fun for everyone when Jane Parker Donuts join the festivities!"

When they join the festivities?

What are the donuts going to be doing? I really want to know. Are they sparkling conversationalists? Do they do magic tricks? Dance on tables?

Does Jane Parker also come along for the fun? If so, I hope she brings along Betty Crocker, that saucy wench.

Party donuts are not your ordinary dull, morning-coffee donuts, you see. That cup of coffee is just there to try and keep things a little bit quiet. It's like the donuts' chaperone - overheated, breakable, and yet all it can really do is - just sit there.

Those crazy donuts will just ignore the coffee. They'll be swinging from the chandeliers! Telling dirty jokes! Leaving powdered sugar all over the guests' fancy clothes (it's hell on velvet, you know).

The drummer is there because...OK, why IS the drummer there? An escapee from the toy box. He's going to lay down a groove. Well, if he can. I'm not sure if he can really loosen up. He is made of wood, duh.

Not exactly a Ringo Starr or a Keith Moon, is he.

Still, there are those damn donuts - in a drum. I get it. They're the ones drumming up the fun. As soon as they get out of the drum, that is. Jane? Betty? Could you just tip them out onto the table? They'll be fine once they get on a flat surface. Wait till you see them do the Twist!

And the coffee sits there thinking; if only I can get someone to start dunking.

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