Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Personality Glasses

Before we get onto today's post I just want to say a huge thank you to all my amazing, terrific and witty commenters, old and new - you guys are the absolute best! And you make every post better with your additions, that's for sure!

OK, now back to our regular programming...Here's some help for anyone who just wants to be the kind of happy shiny peppy person about whom all the other guys and gals say, admiringly, "Boy, has she got personality!" And yet...and yet. There are those days when even the peppiest among us - is not so peppy. You know what I mean. Like maybe the cats ran around the house all night chasing each other up and down the stairs making yippy meowing noises, thundering like cattle stampeding on the prairie.

Or maybe you broke a bottle of tomato sauce all over the floor five minutes before you need to leave the house to be somewhere important. At which point several telemarketers decide that this, this is the perfect moment to start phoning you about an amazing opportunity. Or to ask you a quick twenty-five questions about your newspaper-reading habits.

At which point the washing machine gets sick to its stomach and barfs all over the place. Oh, and it's a bad hair day, that goes without saying.

What you need right this second is Personality Glasses! We can only imagine what they might do for us. The ad does not deign to tell us that. What psychosocial magic do they work? Are they the apocryphal Rose-Colored Glasses? (They look untinted, perhaps there's an extra charge for that). Do they say happy positive things to people in your voice?

Maybe they reprogram your brain (which is in quite a bad mood by now) into thinking that you are having a really good day.

Could you get different pairs of glasses and change personalities with your outfit? That might be fun.

Then you could get one personality to clean up the tomato sauce, one to go out and work, and one to call the washing-machine repairman.

And that would leave you free to go take a nap with the cats.

Advertisement from the splendid Windsor Star newspaper of Windsor, Ontario, from 1962.

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