Friday, October 24, 2008

Out Of The Shadows

Another still from a film noir movie that never was...

When it's 1951 and you're the eternal star of The Constant Bridesmaid, it's time for Drastic Measures.

That smirking bride thinks she's the Queen of the May - just because she doesn't have any zits. She's been making her supposed best friend run errand after errand. Boring her with long stories about the sweet things Albert does for her. What he says about her complexion. The presents he's shelling out.

And after all that, when it's photo time, she tells Alice to stand back in the deep background. Smile for the birdie, everyone.

Alice is tired of those shadows. Look at her, you can just tell. And soon, thanks to Camay, the Soap of Beautiful Women, her fiendish masterplan will be implemented. She will use that Camay somehow - somehow - to overthrow the bridal monarchy.

And then she will be triumphant. She will be the one wearing that veil with the strange butterfly thingies over her ears.

6 comments:

looking4ancestors said...

Oh smirking bride, you had better watch out. Alice may take that bar of Camay and bash you in the teeth with it. You won't be smiling then, will you? Alice will be smiling though - that fiendish, triumphant smile, knowing her days in the shadows are over!

pamibe said...

ROFL! I didn't know other people read between the lines of retro ads! Many of them seem so sinister, don't they?? ;)

Tori Lennox said...

Alice could also put a bar of Camay inside a sock (or maybe a nylon) and whirl it around and make a truly lethal cosh. At the least she could give Smirking Bride a black eye. Or two.

Chat Blanc said...

Alice, hon, you need to ditch that bitch! ;)

eve cleveland said...

hahahaha stumbled ya again! and again we have a clear message: be pretty and someone will want to marry you.
Eve

Bill said...

Alice may be better off as a bridesmaid. Once that veil comes off, it's a life of endless scrubbing, cooking, and man-pleasing.