Sunday, November 30, 2008

Land of Soap and Glory

I'd just like to see the Coal Tar Soap look after this kid.

Just picture a giant bar of soap running after him on that scooter, shouting "Billy, watch out for that tree root! Billy, don't run over Mrs. McGillycuddy's ornamental garden! And who said you could ride into town and buy candy, it wasn't me or your ma!"

Or perhaps the giant soap is hurrying up to Billy and his gang, as they are about to smoke homemade cigars. You think it's embarrassing to have a parent coming after you? Imagine how you'd feel if your new babysitter was a big cake of Wright's Coal Tar Soap. Billy's going to be in therapy in 25 years, talking about the giant soap. They'll have to write some new self-help books about the Coal Tar kids.

Billy's going to lose all his street cred. Not that he ever had much from the look of him. His friends are all laughing hysterically at the enormous Coal Tar Soap, in a frilly apron, running after Billy, screaming and scolding.

That's the point where the giant soap always threatened to wash their mouths out with - um, soap.

10 comments:

Bill said...

I think this is why Billy always plays outside when it rains. He's planning to wear that Coal Tar Soap nanny down one rainstorm at a time.

I like how the ad cautions against imitations. I picture Billy's poor mother hunched over the edge of the tub, scrubbing away, wondering why Billy is just getting dirtier and dirtier. The hapless mom tried to save money, and bought a charcoal briquette or a lump of furnace coal masquerading as a discount version of Wright's Coal Tar Soap.

overthetopaprons@syix.com said...

Yoour retro ad resource is amazing. I just love to stop by to see what is new for the day. Thanks for sharing ... it is delightful!

Lidian said...

Bill - What a brilliant strategy! I never considered the weather. And as you say, coal tar hardly seems like a good cleaning ingredient.

Overthetopaprons - Aw, thank you! It is so much fun to write and share all this stuff! :)

Dwacon® said...

Wouldn't coal tar darken Billy's skin?

Lidian said...

Dwacon - I just looked it up in Wikipedia, and apparently coal tar is used to combat dandruff etc and is used in shampoo and soap for that purpose. I was wondering, though I know I have seen this sort of soap in health food stores over the years.

Frogs in my formula said...

Ahahahaha, I love the mental picture of a giant bar of soap running after Billy. I'm still laughing. Too silly!

OMYWORD! said...

Hey Lidian - thanks for buying the entrecard ad! I came by for a nice eyeful of great images and retronoscity. Always a pleasure.

I don't know if you are interested in French retro images, but if so, you can feast your eyes on one of my fav image blogs: http://bibigreycat.blogspot.com/

Shieldmaiden96 said...

I think the only place you can still get your hands on coal-tarry goodness is Neutrogena T-Gel Shampoo. The coal tar is why its the color of Guinness. And it smells about as good as you'd expect.

~~louise~~ said...

Your insight to these ads sparks a natural course of conversation.

I'm not sure what's more amusing, your lyrical images or the responses. They are all so addicting.

Now let me check, I may have some crumbled Coal Tar Soap protecting my powder room.

Lidian said...

Frogs In My Formula - It was the first thing that popped into my head, seeing this...

Ohmyword! - Thanks, I'll go check that out. I like all sorts of retro images, I have some French and German retro household guides that I might use sometime in a post. I like your blog too! :)

Shieldmaiden96 - I think I've seen it here but it is in an opaque bottle. So I didn't know! Thank you for the heads up, as it were.

Louise - Thank you! And I am going to keep an eye out for coal tar soap, for sure.