Saturday, November 15, 2008

The Electric Pepto-Bismol Stomach Acid Test

True Or False: A stomach should never, ever take an exam when it is upset.

Answer: True, of course. It will be sure to flunk. And nobody wants a flunking stomach. Ahem.

Take this gal on the right. Her stomach might be upset because she neglected to teach it any physics before she sent it in to take that "harsh physics" exam.

Meanwhile, she's at home, trying to digest an enormous sandwich. And that will be hard if her stomach is somewhere else trying to write exams for her.

True Or False: "Never upset an upset stomach!"

Answer: Oh, that's an easy one! True - duh. If it gets too upset it might get angry. It might give the wrong answers on those exams just to make you look bad!

But that sounds more like philosophy - not physics.

There could be any number of exam subjects that this poor stomach might have to deal with.

For example, Psychology: How will the stomach express its feelings of upset? And how does this condition symbolize the principles of cognitive dissonance? Please discuss. Do not give a demonstration in your answer - or on your answer.

Mathematics
: How many teaspoonfuls of Pepto Bismol will it take to alleviate an insulted stomach? And also - If two people, each having eaten an enormous sandwich, are traveling on trains going in opposite directions, one at 200 miles per hour and one at 78 miles per hour, which one will reach San Diego first?

History: What in the world was in that sandwich that might have led to the Gastroinstestinal Revolution?

Physics: You are celebrating the end of your exams by eating another enormous sandwich. You then go on a roller coaster. What is the weight of your stomach at maximum speed, and how many bottles of Pepto Bismol will you have in your handbag?


Advertisement (1946) from Duke University's extraordinarily therapeutic digital collection, Medicine and Madison Avenue. And thank you to this physics exam for suggesting the last question.

10 comments:

Jeff said...

Fun blog! I'm a big fan of dumb/weird magazine ads. Thanks for stopping by my place :-)

~~louise~~ said...

Once again Lidian, you have caused me to accept my upset stomach (from laughing so much) with a grain of salt. Hmmm, salty Pepto Bismol...

P.S. You think they really gave it out right at the fountain in the drug store or am I reading the ad wrong?

BTW, drop by, it's National Bundt Cake Day!

Frogs in my formula said...

The weight of your stomach is 12 pounds and the # of bottles is 3? Ok, that's enough math for me tonight...

Erica said...

So many students cram while drinking coffee. Who knew they should be chugging the pink stuff instead.

@louise -- it looks like you could just buy a single dose! amazing!

the green ninja said...

EWWW!!! I like your blog!

Mrs. G said...

I may not comment often in your blog but I really look forward to your posts. You are so funny!

Lidian said...

Jeff - I really like your blog too, and I'll be back!

Louise - Happy Bundt Cake Day! I loved your post, sorry not to comment but I was in a panic to go run some errands...

Frogs In My Formula (that is such a great name BTW) - I have no idea! I was always terrible at these problems in math, never mind physics, which I never took...

Erica - And to think I was studying while drinking coffee and eating Goldenberg's Delicious Peanut Chews. The dorm candy machine did not, unfortunately, dispense Pepto-Dismal...

Green Ninja - Indeed, and thanks! :)

Mrs. G - Same here, I always enjoy reading your blog, too!

Maria said...

While it's most likely the stomach would flunk, wouldn't it be worse if it aced all the exams and went to a different college than you - a better college? That'll be the last time she trusts any of her organs to take tests for her!

Bill said...

That poor girl!
Her parents should have taught her never to eat anything bigger than her head.

Lidian said...

Maria - You are so right, I never thought of that! And it could happen!

Bill - Yes, where are the parents? And what are THEY eating?!