Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Everyone Knows It's Windy

Hmm, wonder what he'd like for Christmas? A lifelong reminder of his importance, is what it's got to be. And there are several other factors to consider. It's got to be:

- Something permanent. OK. Something you're not going to snatch away after New Year's. So ixnay on the chocolate mints or the new Ruth Rendell novel.

-Something prominent...Hmmm. Now that's enough, children, please stop laughing. Perhaps they mean socially prominent, my dears. An invitation to the Cotillion? A cummerbund?

-Something lively. A lively instrument. Perhaps a trombone? No, something shiny that spins around and that you can stick up on the wall. Oh, so - not a trombone.

How about we get him a metal pinwheel? That's shiny and it spins. But that won't fascinate his family and friends, will it? And that is a must.

Wait...I know!

How about a Cape Cod Wind Indicator and a Cape Cod Wind Speed Indicator!

Because everyone knows that men are fascinated by wind, right? Right?

And this will show him how important he is to you! Or how important the weather is to him. Or something.

Yes, this is the ad with more inadvertant innuendos than - than a Cape Cod cranberry bog is full of cranberries. What fun it is to imagine what the ad writers were thinking back in 1960!

And what fun he will have - not to mention the fascinated family and friends who will be following him around 24/7 - checking on the wind speed. And also on its direction!

Just don't forget to remind them all that it measures what's going on outdoors. They might all get so entranced that - well, who knows what they'll be thinking. Somebody has to remain calm and centered. Might as well be you.

And do make sure that he can take this kind of excitement. It might be too much for someone who's been living a quiet ordinary life, unaware of the amazing world of wind-gust measurement.

Oh, and by the way Cape Cod Wind People: it's not just his house, OK? Everybody remember that, or that pinwheel wind thing's coming down off the wall and going straight into the kitchen drawer.

Your
kitchen drawer.

6 comments:

Slapinions said...

I'd like it, but I'm a dork.

Dan

Bill said...

HE'LL LOVE IT!!!

Until he falls off the roof trying to attach those damned spinning cups.

Lidian said...

Slapinions - I kind of like it too, but the marketing in the ad was irresistibly funny!

Bill - I don't think someone who is going to be so excited about the weather really belongs on a roof...

Chat Blanc said...

holy overselling! I think they should have gone with "this is a crappy gift, but we really need to sell a ton of them so please buy it for someone who doesn't need one." :D

Queenly Things said...

Oh, that explains those cups on people's rooves. What I still don;t understand is why people in California need to know about the wind at Cape cod. We're a continent away for cryin' out loud.

Lidian said...

Chat Blanc - Wait till you see some of the other ads from this magazine - lots of very odd Christmas-present ideas. I can't wait to start writing about them next month.

Vallen - Because people on Cape Cod think everyone else wants to go on vacation there...