Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Fool's Cold

Theda Bara would have had second thoughts about vamping in A Fool There Was in 1915, if only she'd been able to look into the future and see this 1929 ad. "On second thought...don't kiss me, my fool!"

Actually, the model looks like me trying to figure out which chapter I'm working on in NaNoWriMo. Well, minus the cold. I don't have a cold. But just mentally substitute a Bic pen for the thermometer and it's spot on.

Anyway, the Listerine people are not interested in flattering their potential customers, now, are they? You fools! Blind, ignorant, willful and germ-laden fools! Yeah, you. And stay over there, over by the radiator, no one has any interest in catching what you've got.

If only you'd taken their advice. Like washing your hands in Listerine. Oh, and gargling with it too. And it really wouldn't have hurt to put it in the tuna casserole either, would it? You just weren't thinking, you mad impetuous dancing flapper of a fool - hanging around those germ-filled speakeasies all night!

If only you had stayed home rinsing and washing and gargling and pouring. Then Listerine "might have spared you"! It might have - if it deemed you worthy.

Never mind - there'll be plenty of time to repent while you're in quarantine in the back bedroom, missy!

Oh, but before you go - don't forget to tell your husband about Listerine Shaving Cream! He'll like that. He can keep his chin from catching a cold.

Advertisement from 1929 - via the Duke University Medicine and Madison Avenue collection. In the full-size version in the link you can see all the splendid gargling and shaving cream advice up close and personal.


Stanley! said...

I think the really priceless part of that ad is the helpful advice at the bottom, "TO ESCAPE A COLD."

Too long have our defensless citizenry been subject to the predations of sinister colds, skulking around back alleys, abandoned warehouses, and poorly-lit areas.

Thank goodness Listerine is willing to offer us the cold evasion equivalent of "duck and cover."

Over The Top Aprons said...

Thanks for posting an advert on my blog; it is so much fun visiting our site - I love all your posts!

Tori Lennox said...

You'd think all that bathtub gin would kill any germ foolish enough to hang around a speakeasy, wouldn't you?

Bill said...

A Miss Clairol bath wouldn't hurt, either.

And it really wouldn't have hurt to put it in the tuna casserole either...
I don't know about that. It hurts me just thinking about it.

Beth said...

Wow, what a judgmental ad! Makes me want to go and pour my bottle of Listerine down the sink in protest. ;)

Lidian said...

Stanley! - I can't add anything to your amazingly perceptive comment except to say that here is yet another film-noir movie that never was... buried in a Listerine ad.

Over The Top Aprons - Thank you, I love your site too!

Tori - She looks like she could use a little gin just about now, too.

Bill - I made up the casserole part, lol, but everything else is the Listerine truth.

Beth - I'll join you, over at my sink! And then our sinks won't catch any colds.

Shay said...

Visit here and cheer up!


tahtimbo said...

I remember when I was growing up having to gargle with Listerine when I had a sore throat. The stuff was horrible. I guess the horrible taste scared the germs from my throat.

Maria said...

And don't forget dandruff! Listerine is truly the greatest cure-all the world has ever seen!