Tuesday, November 18, 2008

The Mary Sharpener

Mary has a few issues, as you can see from this dramatic ad from a 1966 Cosmopolitan magazine.

She's cranky. And snarling. And mean. Probably craving chocolate.

Yeah, so what? I can do that, too. Especially if it's really early in the morning, and I haven't had any coffee yet (and I don't care what part of the jar it's from, to tell you the truth).

Ah, but ALSO - she's dull. That's got to hurt more than a little PMS - the Midol people implying pretty strongly that you're not all that you should be, intellectually. It just seems unfair. Did they test her calculus skills? Ask her a difficult philosophical question about the nature of the universe?

Maybe she needs some coffee. Maybe she needs Fleischmann's Yeast, for heaven's sake! Did they ever think of that?

Oh no, of course not! "She must have her period." Oldest line in the book, that is. Well, maybe not the oldest. The oldest is probably "Hey, Eve, that apple really looks good, give me some of that, don't you want to share?"

And then when she said no, really, I better not give you any - cue the second oldest line in the book!

If only they had known about instant coffee. And Fleischmann's Yeast.

Oh, and Midol.

7 comments:

Bill said...

Wow!
Look how bright and sparkly Mary looks after taking that Midol!
That stuff is a miracle in a bottle. I wish they made Guydol.

~~louise~~ said...

It looks like she has a migraine to me. I suppose Midol is/was the cure all for all things Fem with a dash of good yeast on the side...

I agree with Bill, Guydol would probably make a good side kick to Midol...

Jeff said...

That is a very strange and large looking hand on the side of her head.

Amy said...

so, she's dull, did vintage midol make her so out of it that she's happy all the time? wow that must be good stuff.

eve cleveland said...

L..
They forgot to say anything about Mary being able to bag a husband as soon as she ingested said product.
Eve

Lidian said...

Bill - That's an idea they would love, I'm surprised they never did that. Maybe they did - I will have to check the old Esquires and so on to see.

Louise - And then there would be the musical, Guydols and Midols.

Jeff - Well, it's a bad case of PMS...

Amy - It must be extra-strength!

Eve - Maybe that is the follow-up ad..How could they forget that?

Mary Claire Mattiello said...

I'm pretty sure Midol's main ingredient was caffeine. So she could just skip it and drink the coffee. They still make this I think?
By the way LOVE your blog!