Tuesday, November 4, 2008

A Strange Man Followed Me Tuesday

Well, that may be. But everyone in this little pressure-cooker drama is pretty strange, really.

We'll start off with Bill, the Strange Man himself - skulking along behind our Heroine, looking mighty dubious (and tiny, don't forget tiny - he looks like she could put him in her pocket - or perhaps in the pressure cooker). Turns out he's one of her husband Tom's pals. Maybe he's not the only strange guy in town.

Tom's been raving about her cooking. Ranting and raving. What fun he and his pals must have, out on the town, going down to the local tavern or catching a game - all the while, Tom just won't shut up about Gloria's mesmerizing pot roast. Clearly it has driven Bill here to madness. Let the one-upmanship begin!

Then Gloria (having recovered from being followed) reveals her incredible secret power. It is called a pressure-cooker!

Bill just wants to bore everyone as much as Tom does, bragging about "the fresher, better flavor of his meals." Goodness, what were they saying before? Are the other guys even still listening to these two?

I suspect the rest of their friends just sneaked away quietly, leaving Bill and Tom at the back booth, yammering away about the super supper they just had. Neither listening to the other. The folks around them will need an extra drink having to hear all that.

As for Tom's wife Susan, well - she gets the most fabulous present ever! Not a diamond ring or a trip to Tahiti, sweetie -you stumbled into the wrong ad, didn't you?

Nope, you're getting a pressure cooker, Sue! And you are going to have such fun making dinner, it'll feel like a trip to Tahiti! Doesn't she look like she's trying to look thrilled?

Can't help you with the diamond ring, though. Keep looking through the Ladies' Home Journal, maybe you can skip out of this ad and try something a little less - strange.

7 comments:

VintageGent said...

I have heard of guys creepily asking women what perfume they are wearing so they an get it for their wife... but following a woman around to ask her cooking secrets because he wants his wife to shape up?

looking4ancestors said...

No doubt, Bill is going to end up in the pressure cooker, alright. He just issued himself a death sentence, giving his wife a pressure cooker for her birthday. The guy really is mad!

Tori Lennox said...

Hey, my mom has a Wear-Ever pressure cooker (or used to)! I'll have to ask her sometime if any strange men ever followed her around because of it.

And Sue is definitely overacting the whole "Honey, I'm so thrilled" bit.

Amy said...

what is it with those weird brand names? The wear ever pressure cooker? Maybe Bill is a stalker secretly...

Jennifer said...

Hey -- I use a pressure cooker (just whipped up a man-catching batch of chickpeas last night) and no strange men have been following me around.

Ah -- it's not a Wear-Ever. Oh, well.

Michelle Gartner said...

Strange men follow me all the time... I live with 5 of them, I think they follow me around for my cooking too.

Bee said...

Phew! At least it wasn't some weird pervert!

I love the styles but boy am I glad I wasn't born in that era. People consider me a uh (air quotes) non conformist (air quotes) I hate to think what I'd be called back then.