Saturday, November 29, 2008

What Good Is A Party?

Well, what good is anything if you don't feel well? How about just staggering around the house, or going to work, or trying to do regular stuff. Also no good.

And as for things like cleaning the oven, what good is that, I'd like to know, no matter acidic your stomach is?

Conversely, what if that party's no good even though you are OK? Maybe it's a really boring party! That could happen. Or what about if the food is lousy, or there aren't enough potato chips?

Maybe they've run out of vodka. That would make me a little bit sad. Although I will gladly have some Harvey's Bristol Cream if you have any over there in the cabinet. I'll bet you're hiding it! Harvey's Bristol Cream?

But I'm standing here talking to some really very boring people and - I can't get away. We're talking about - oh what are we even talking about? Their latest purchases? Their last cruise? Insurance plans? I don't stomach seems to be upset.

Maybe it is having an existential crisis (or else it could be the guacamole).

Or maybe I made it take one too many exam.

Well, at least I have an arsenal of Tums with me. Three rolls! That ought to fix things up. Enough Tums, in fact, to offer them to those cruise-happy insurance agents over there. And while they are crunching on handfuls of Tums, I will be able to sneak away and go on home. Nothing works like Tums!

My stomach and I feel happier already.


Anonymous said...

Thank God for Tums. Otherwise, how would we able to party this holiday season? Who needs an economic stimulus package when you've got Tums?!?

Starcasm said...

Who drank all the vodka?!?!? My tummy really is having an existential crisis now!

Lidian said...

Unfinishedrambler - Indeed. I love the chocolate Tums especially, they are really nice when you are bored and/or acidic.

Starcasm - It was really really thoughtless of the hosts not to buy us enough vodka!