Saturday, November 22, 2008

What We Talk About When We Talk About Nerve Fatigue

Those jumpy, irritable, tense feelings that she has when she sees you? That's not nerve fatigue, mister.

That's from you being a big pain in the neck, that's what. A fussbudget.

Where's my dinner, why didn't you make gingerbread from scratch the way I like it?

Where's my pipe?

Why is the dog looking at me like that?

Why are you looking at me like that?

Why don't I have any clean shirts?

Oh...but they don't have starch in them. You know I like them starched.


Oh, she'll starch you, all right.

Thank heavens for Dr. Chase and his Nerve Food.

What sort of food do you suppose that it could be? Chocolate, maybe. That always helps nerves. It's a scientific fact. Dark chocolate, filled with medicinal brandy.

Or maybe it's ice cream! Yes, that's it. Ice cream with a side of industrial-strength ear plugs.

That is why she is looking so happy. He's been reduced to a cartoon head, floating up there babbling. And she has those earplugs firmly entrenched.

The Nerve Food is just, er, icing on the cake.

And that's not an O-K sign, she's just sort of pointing out her raised middle finger in a polite, smiley sort of way. That's what Dr. Chase's Nerve Food does to you! You're still mad, but it just feels so much better, somehow.

16 comments:

Slapinions said...

I'd be interesting to follow up and find out just what the 'nerve food' was, and if it did actually have beneficiial qualities. St. John's Wart? Prozac? Wacky Tobacy? lol

Carol said...

Nerve food,eh? Probably that cocaine they used to put in Coca-Cola before they found out it was dope. LOL Funny post.

Needless To Say said...

Chocolate, medicinal brandy, ice cream...I think that sounds like a great "nerve diet." And those all-important ear plugs!

Amy said...

I think she's been putting it in his food, maybe that's why she's been more relaxed. If he's stopped his nagging she's happy.

Stanley! said...

Most of those are stimulants. I bet it was ground up barbituates and flour. That always calms my nerves.

Um, er... I mean my friend's nerves. Yes, it calms my friend's nerves, that's it.

TiLT said...

That's great! Love the "polite middle finger" as you put it.

Michelle Gartner said...

I need me some nerve food today- gimme that bottle!

Daisy said...

I wonder what is in that stuff? It would be a grand thrill to be feeling just right!

Lidian said...

Slapinions - I'll have a look at that, this is from a wacky little booklet that may have some info.

Carol - It is amazing how many nerve remedies there were back then!

Needless To Say - Yes, the earplugs are a key part of the program.

Amy - I didn't think of that but yeah, he must he taking this stuff too...

Stanley! - Your friend must feel very calm now, just like this lady, lol

TiLT - I only noticed this at the end of writing, it was such a weird 'OK' sign she was making...

Michelle - I really think it has a fair amount of chocolate in it.

Daisy - Me too, it seems so exact and perfectly calibrated to feel "just right" -

Grumpus said...

This stuff is reminiscent (in name and appearance) to fish flakes. Do you just hop in your nice warm tub, douse the surface liberally and then submerge and inhale your happy homemaker crack flakes? Better than having a Calgon moment!

...Boringly, it turns out this stuff consisted of B vitamins and iron.

Bill said...

Dr. Chase's Nerve Food...a lobotomy in every bite!

Lidian said...

Grumpus - I hope not, fish flakes would not make my nerves happy!

Bill - That is the perfect slogan!

Starcasm said...

It's probably heroin. That always calms nerves.

cchiovitti said...

I could use some - whatever it was. Hmmmm...I wonder if it came in dart guns for the kiddies as well?

Lidian said...

Starcasm - You never know...

cchiovitti - It would keep the kiddies calm so that they wouldn't drive their racing cars into the furniture, I guess.

Chef Bertha said...

great blog!