Tuesday, December 2, 2008

The Brain Drain

Anger, time management issues, wasteful wantonness, social intrigue - oh, and a lazy drain. All the elements of a good thriller, or a 1930s household-product ad. The choice is yours!

You just know she's not telephoning to save time, really. It's because she doesn't want to go over to see dear old Phyllis and play bridge.

"Phyl, I'd just love to see you but I am so so busy! There is just too much to do around here!"

There is, in fact, at least one drain that is clamoring for her attention. Bubbling ominously, as if clearing its metaphorical throat. Ahem, lady. I've about had it up to here! Better do a little cleaning. For once in your life. Get off the phone already!

But does madame hang up the receiver and get on with it? She does not.

She wastes some more time waiting for the lazy old drain. They're quite a pair, her and the drain. Each one waiting to see what the other will do.

Then she gets mad at the drain. Darn old drain. Darn old sludgy old waste water!

And then one day...she met a can of Drano. It saves the day - and the drain. It "saves everyone's time and temper," too - everyone? This must be some family.What fun it must be to visit them. Go over, stand around, watch the drains. Then see the hosts lose their tempers, one by one.

On second thought, maybe Phyllis was actually calling to cancel the bridge game.

But post-Drano, life is infinitely better. It always is. So now it's high time our heroine looked into why her head is completely out of proportion to her body.

And why, in the last picture, she appears to be pouring Drano on the floor. This suggests that the ultimate problem may reside with brains rather than drains.


Erica said...

I'm mostly bothered by the idea that housewife needs to watch the water dribble down the lazy drain. I mean, she wouldn't risk losing her temper over the drainage speed if she would just wander off and do something else. "No, Phyllis, I just simply must watch my drain. It takes hours." Aaargh.

Tori Lennox said...

Seems to me she's the lazy one if she has to use the phone so much.

Lidian said...

Erica - Yes, that's a really good point you make - why is she standing there watching? If a watched pot never boils, then by inference a watched drain will never - er, drain.

Tori - She and the drain share some characteristics, yes. And she is possibly projecting her laziness onto the drain.

Frogs in my formula said...

Sigh, after reading your post, my post about the Rose Petal stupid playhouse seemed less funny. Damn these advertisements! But you made me laugh. Great opener.

leaisscraphappy said...

Yeah, the ill-proportioned head is...well...ghastly looking.

Lidian said...

Frogs In My Formula (Chris) - That was a great post about the playhouse! I love your writing and totally relate to it, so there :)

Lea - It is such a big head I don't know how she stands up, really.