Saturday, December 6, 2008

Kafka's Girlfriend

As Kay Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, she found that her head had been transformed into a giant package of Hostess Sno-Balls.

She tried to move her head from side to side and heard the crinkle of cellophane. And when she tried to fluff up her hair, she felt a cardboard sleeve and two gigantic coconut-covered confections, that had apparently broken into her room, done something with her head, and taken over the rest of her body.

"But I don't want to be a walking advertisement for ersatz sponge cake!" she cried in existential despair.

"Where did a glamour gal like you ever learn a word like 'ersatz'?" Kay heard a voice answering her, and realized that it was the Hostess cakes that had spoken.

And so Kay and the strange Hostess cakes continued to speak, somehow, although neither had a mouth at this point. (Cue the willing suspension of disbelief.)

"And as for the jokes I'm going to have to hear! All that stuff about my two well-stacked Sno-Balls. The snickering. The innuendos. The endless slang expressions that associate food with sex! Frankly, I don't think I can take it," said Kay to the giant Hostess package.

"Yeah, but everyone's insecure about their looks, you know that," said the Hostess package, trying to check itself out in the mirror.

"Of course I know it, you stupid cake! How am I supposed to go out and be glamorous like this? How am I going to attract a higher type of guy when I look like the display case at Berger's Budget Bakery?"

"We already thought of that," said the Hostess Sno-Balls. "And have we got a guy for you! Not a player either. A smart guy. A writer. You know, the kind who'll respect you for what's inside your head."

"Yeah, well - what's inside my head happens to be heavily sweetened shaving cream. What kind of writer is he anyway?"

"A foreign, intellectual, brooding one. Oh, you'll like him. In fact, he goes for girls just like you! Kafka's the name - Franz Kafka."

******

Many thanks to Janet at Found In Mom's Basement, which is where I first saw this ad-

And many thanks also of course to Roadsidepictures at Flickr, who found the Snowball woman and put her up on Flickr.Sno - Ball Cookies

19 comments:

Judy said...

LOL...SO funny! Hey, did you see my Mom's stove on my blog? I loved that stove...Have a great day!

Bill said...

I hope they didn't pay much for this ad.

Visually, this one is certainly bizarre...a sure contender in the What were they thinking? category. I wonder if the artist was ashamed of his work when the drugs wore off?

Chris Bowers said...

Great Post! Great Blog!

Tori Lennox said...

Definitely freaky weird. But, hey, better be a Sno-Ball Head than, say, a giant cockroach....

Lidian said...

Judy - Yes, I did! It was fabulous!

Bill - I really would love to know what they were thinking. Or drinking.

Chris - Thank you, I like your blog too (just went over for a visit).

Tori - Yes, of the two choices, I pick the dessert option as opposed to the yucky-insect option any day.

Frogs in my formula said...

I love your blog and getting to see these ridiculous ads--along with your commentary. That ad is downright creepy. (The Metamorphosis is one of my all time favorite stories.)

Margie and Edna said...

That ad gave me the serious willies. Holy cow.

Dan Brantley said...

This ad left me a little speechless. So I just Stumbled the post for you.

Daisy Bookworm said...

It took me about halfway through reading the post to remember that Kafka wrote "Metamorphosis." Great job. I'm not sure after seeing that add I'd ever want to eat Hostess again. ... But, then again, I do love the cream filling ...

Lidian said...

Frogs in my Formula - Thank you! It is a huge amount of fun to write, though I usually start out by staring at the ad and going blank. I like Kafka too, if I am in the right mood.

Margie and Edna - Me too..

Dan - Thank you! I am just getting the hang of Stumble, and am trying to resist the lame I-am-just-stumbling-around-Stumble joke.

Daisy - I thik we ad them in the basement snack machines in college. My favorite though was Goldenberg's Delicious Peanut Chews - even though they were stale from sitting in that machine. I think I was the only one who liked them! :)

Chat Blanc said...

when would this ad ever not be seen as ridiculous? I can't help but laugh, but secretly I want to be a snow-balls girl too. :P

Lidian said...

Chat Blanc - That's a really good point. I guess they wanted this ad to stand out and - well, it does!

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

Awesome!!

Lidian said...

Susan - Thank you, it was such a great ad to play off of. So much fun!

Starcasm said...

Mmm. Women's heads are tasty!

papercages said...

What's with the ankles of the woman in the green dress? They look broken or like she's double jointed or maybe that's the next body part to become food. Pretzels?

Great post.

Lidian said...

Starcasm - I guess so!

Papercages - The whole picture is weird, isn't it? You're right, pretzels may be around the corner.

Queenly Things said...

Okay - that is just a little too weird. I guess it's only just a little better than having those puppies growing out of her chest. Do you suppose it is some subversive misogynistic comment about her brainpower?

Lidian said...

Queenly Things - I think that you're absolutely right. I wonder who thought this ad up and who else said yes, what a great idea?