Saturday, January 17, 2009

Death of a Sales Promotion Manager

"You'll be pleased!" All that hard work promoting sales, and this is what you have to show for it:

A walnut-n-gold desk thingie.

And if you are not pleased, you will get your money back. Sorry about all the hours you put in at the office. You won't get those back.

Too bad about the endless meetings, the hours traveling back and forth from Yonkers (or wherever) in your giant 1950s gas guzzler. You won't get back any of the time you've spent pushing insurance, or liquid plastic novelties, or whatever. What is it that you do around here, anyway?

Can't do anything about your lost enthusiasm, or your twenties and thirties either. However, you will get that $1.95 back ($2.95 for genuine gold) if you are not thrilled with this extremely prestigious desk plaque.

And look at this:"quantity discounts to businesses." So all the other Harold J. Normans and Willy Lomans at the office can put them in their cubicles, too.


Bill said...

I think you can hire people to do title searches.

I really do miss your titles, so I'm glad you take the time to tell us about them. What they would have been, what they looked like, the hopes & dreams you had for them.

I hope they are healthy & happy, wherever they are. Maybe they'll return soon, like a little band of prodigal sons & daughters. We all lose our way at times.

Tori Lennox said...

I'm worrying about how they get that Danish-oil. Do they mean the kind of Danishes you eat? Or actual living, breathing Danes? And if the latter? Do I really want to know how they get the oil out of them?

Lidian said...

Bill - I miss my titles too. I think Blogger may know where they went, but so far I haven't been very successful at interrogating Blogger. I might need Sam Spade to help me out.

Tori - Probably it is the oil from Danish pastries in the little plastic wrappers...