Wednesday, January 28, 2009

An Email With Teeth

Mais oui, sometimes you might like to open your mouth when you smile! Also when you talk. And c'est vrai, it helps a lot when you are eating les bonbons, to open up the mouth a little.

How dare Mr. W.A. Fox, a gentleman to whom you have not even been introduced, make a mockery of the state of your teeth!

He claims to have some "quite expensive" potion, beloved by the chic ladies over in France. That is where all the beauty secrets have been hiding, usually for at least 25 years (40, in this case) but are only just now becoming available. And why is that, Monsieur Fox? Is it because the chic ladies are sorry for you and your nicotine smile? Or perhaps it is because they have a new secret, one that actually - works...

But for now, let us say that this Email Diamant will make your yellow fangs acceptably white. Why, they will become so very, very white and bright that you might also see a sizable reduction in the electricity bill!

You too will become a Continental Sophisticate, lounging about feeling "amazingly gratified" (Sacre Bleu, I dare not imagine why). Soon you will be wearing dark glasses everywhere, zipping around in a blue convertible, trailing a scarf and laughing with your head thrown back. Don't forget to look at the road though. And watch out for the scarf too, Isadora.

Thank you very much to Uh...Bob over at Flickr for the amazing ad! I'm guessing this is 1950s vintage, as $2.98 doesn't seem that expensive in a 1960s context.

9 comments:

Dan Brantley said...

The names for these products are amazing, French Teeth, Siroil, Plastic Sandwich Machine? But if you pick up an issue of Popular Mechanics today, similar ads are still running. And a check of back issues shows they have been running for years! Who buys these things?

papercages said...

I'd prefer a red convertible, but the rest sounds great. How can you go wrong at $2.98?

Bill said...

Wow, I have never heard of French Teeth! They're probably the cat's pyjamas when it comes to French kissing. Especially French kissing in the USA, where big ol' horsey American teeth can clank together and cause embarrassment.

Amy said...

golly gosh! Maybe Mr Fox should've been a dentist...instead he's trying to peddle his invention in a newspaper for such a cheap price.

Lin said...

Oh, so now I know what my mother meant when she would say "Watch your Rrench"!

Lidian said...

Dan - I can't imagine who would buy this stuff, it is similar to the things advertised in comic books (I need to hunt down some of those, wish I had saved my 60s Archies)

papercages - It would be like being in one of those 'travelogue' 60s movies!

Bill - There were some good French this and that jokes in the Flickr comments! :)

Amy - Yes, he should have.

Lin - I don't know if many people ever knew about this stuff though...

Ron Eklof said...

C'est bon, mon petit chou.
As I read this delightful little item, I heard the words in the voice of Charles Boyer. Tres bien!
I, unfortunately had my mouth closed and the sounds came out, mrff, pfrrf, bffft.
Ron

tim h said...

I think my great-grandfather brought back some French teeth from the Great War.

Lidian said...

Ron - But you must open up in order to use the marvelous Email Diamant, oui?

Tim - Ahh...c'est très interessant!