Sunday, February 1, 2009

Buttercup Almost Forgot

Meet Buttercup. She's over there, on the left. And I think she may be using an alias in this lovely 1950 ad from the Ladies' Home Journal. You would too, if you were this forgetful and openly doltish, and then appeared in an ad in a national magazine. This - plus that expression on her face - makes her perfect for a modern celeb gossip site - she's ahead of her time.

And like a modern celeb, she's got some problems for us to ponder. Man problems and toothpaste problems. Coincidence? Jeepers! I think not.

Let's have 'em, complete with oddly erratic capitalizations:

1. "There was that Jolly Bachelor, Fresh From Kalamazoo, with plenty of Lettuce and 'Object Matrimony' written all over him whose First date was his Last."

He sounds more like a big rabbit than anything else. Maybe it's Harvey. He's a Jolly Bachelor all right. But he likes a person to brush her teeth once in awhile, Elwood P. Doud could tell you that. Elwood would have been tagging along on this date, anyway. Which may be the real reason First Date = Last.

2. "Ditto for the big, bronze Glamour Boy at the Beach last summer, who Kissed her Once, then gave her the Deep Freeze." Ah yes, those bronze glamo(u)r boys. This one put an extra 'u' in glamor, he must have been British or Canadian. And yet - these places are not known for BGBs, really, are they? I wouldn't bother with him anyway, Buttercup (or whatever your real name is). You weren't really dressed for the beach in the first place.

3. "Ditto for that quiet Casanova who took her to the Early Movies then Dropped her on her own Doorstep at half-past nine." That probably hurt all right - depends on how far away from the doorstep he was. And if he's so quiet, how do we even know he's a Casanova? Dropping someone like a FedEx package doesn't sound like a slick romantic move to me.

4. And then there's the "new Boy Friend." We don't know much about him except that he's - well, New. Still has the price code on him! And that she "intends to Keep Him." Easy peasy! With a huge coat like that, she can probably just stick him in one of her pockets. He can make himself useful in there and hang onto the bottle of Listerine she's packing.

******

Thank you so much to Bad Gals Radio for the Smokin' blog award!

10 comments:

sassafrasjunction said...

Oh, Buttercup. Girls like you are why the feminist movement went so long unrealized...

JD at I Do Things said...

Reading this made me want to brush my teeth. "Halitosis"? What an unlovely word. Poor Buttercup. I hope her New Boyfriend has plenty of Lettuce.

Bill said...

She can't seem to get the taste of Listerine out of her mouth, from the looks of it. I hope New Boyfriend is worth it.

Relax Max said...

I have to agree with your assessment of #3 Casanova. A really smooth operator would have carried his own travel-size Listerine with him. Or Dentyne, Chlorettes, Pepsodent, or swimming pool nose plugs.

Or at least a large paper bag to put over buttercup's head after he chloroformed her.

You bring back the chemistry in me. :)

Lidian said...

sassafrasjunction - I think we need to Raise Her Consciousness (capitals inclued), just like they did in the 70s.

JD - Yes, enough for a really big salad! (There's a joke in there somewhere but I am just too tired to get it out)

Bill - And she does seem so surprised about everything - clueless, possibly...my hopes are not high for the New Guy, really.

Max - If he packs too big a travel bag he is not going to look that smooth, though. The Sherpa guidelook was not in then - and I don't think they had backpacks (you could get them in Army surplus stores though)

Listerine does sound like an element, doesn't it? And it tastes like a chemistry experiment, not that I know what that is like, exactly.

Needless To Say said...

Is it just me, or did ads used to target women as the stinky ones most of the time? I'll bet that jolly bachelor's breath wasn't minty fresh either!

TheSnackHound said...

Well, she saved herself a lot of trouble with the bronze guy. If they would have ended up together, she would have been a young widow as he would have surely died of skin cancer eventually.

Lidian said...

Needless To Say - I am going to look for an ad that targets men re toothpaste...but I think you're right, they always blame the women...

TheSnackHound - Yes, just as well, really...

Shay said...

Good Lord, is that her hair, a hat, or a small animal that's crawled up on her head and died there?

Lidian said...

Shay - Probably a combination of all three.