Wednesday, February 18, 2009

The Electric Light Jazz Bow Tie Orchestra

These amazing novelties are so sensationally tiny, mysteriously scientific and electrically jazzy that I don't know where to begin. This is cutting edge entertainment, you know. Plus you will be the social success of the year with any one of these things.

Imagine if you brought all three to a party. People might never recover.

Now first, for a very low price, is the World's Smallest Radio which you can use absolutely anywhere. Well - almost. You do have to connect one clip to a ground and another "to a bit of aerial wire." You might have to twist yourself into a pretzel and stand out on the roof or something, but people will be so impressed. And for double the fun, get two so that you and a friend can play Walkie-Talkie Twister.

As for Guzzlin' Charlie - well, there's one in every crowd, as they say. But usually he's not a mystery drinking bird. Although the roly-poly eyes sound familiar. And the not being mechanically inclined. Apparently young and old go wild over watching the little plastic birdie drink a glass of water. That's some tough crowd.

Now if they really are a tough crowd, there's one more trick you will have up your sleeve - or rather, on your collar. An Electric Light Jazz Bow Tie, of course. Those friends of yours will be so amazed they may not be able to get up off the floor (either that or they're trying to out-guzzle Charlie). What fun it will be directing flashes of light right into their faces. "Have loads of fun," no kidding. I'm not sure what the jazz part of the tie is though. Maybe you can rig up the World's Smallest Radio for that.

16 comments:

Phyl/Bookishgal said...

Oh bravo, bravo! That last line of your post tied everything together perfectly.

I'm laughing my head off at the "usefulness" of the radio. Well, not that it's not outdone by the "usefulness" of the tie.

But I am pleased to recall that my family had one of those drinking birds at some point. I remember seeing it on top of the fridge. Ah, memories...

VintageGent said...

I want all three! I don't care if people will never require! So there.

I do have a question, though, how do you hide the cord for the electric light jazz bow tie? maybe through the collar and into an interior pocket or pants pocket? I don't recommend putting it through your shirt collar unless it will be between layers of clothing, because what if it is under all of your clothes and you sweat? Would you be electrocuted?

VintageGent said...

I MEANT "never RECOVER". not require. I need glasses. But maybe i was just TOO excited that i typed too fast lol

Lidian said...

Phyl - I think you can still buy those birds, but I don't know where. I don't think it would occur to anyone to take it to a party though - now or ever!

VintageGent - I'm not sure, I think you would have to rig it up under your shirt, though you were supposed to control the light button from inside a pocket. I don't know that this was really well thought out on the maker's part...

I was quite excited to find this ad, myself. If it makes me laugh out loud, it's scanworthy! :)

Tori Lennox said...

We had one of those drinking birds, too. In fact, I vaguely seem to recall we had a whole flock of them....

Condo Blues said...

I never got the drinking bird. Still don't. But the light up tie - that's a different story!

Contest Chris said...

Great post! In fact, it is the Featured Post of the day over at Worth a Thousand Words.

Relax Max said...

Born too late. The story of my life. I would kill for that tie. God, the popularity. The girls I could have gotten. Better than Camel cigarettes. Good post. Not featured though. :)

PS - is it just me or does that bow tie guy look like he's been chowing down on the Skinner's Raisin Bran? No? You don't think he appears to be relieving himself as he blinks? They cropped off the bottom of the picture, but they can't fool me.

HumorSmith said...

I may be part of that lame crowd. I find the bow tie quite amusing. It also helps me fit the key into my car door on very dark nights.

I suspect it may be the main reason I don't have a sex life, but perhaps that's a subject best left closed.

ceemee said...

Those are real crowd-pleasers! I just don't know if I want to have them or not. Maybe not!

Lidian said...

Tori - A flock sounds kind of fun, do you still have them?

Condo Blues - I would actually like to see one of these ties, I wonder if they still make them.

Contest Chris - Oh, thank you! :)

Max - I cannot imagine what that guy's been into (or up to), but I hope they are serving something more exciting than Raisin Bran at that party!

HumorSmith - I think they ought to revive the bow tie, since it is getting a very positive response here! An internet business opportunity, perhaps.

ceemee - I am not sure either, but I may put the tie on my list of things a guy might like for Christmas.

Tori Lennox said...

Alas, no. Our flock of drinking birds flew the coop long ago.

Bill said...

I don't know why you'd want to wear the radio to a party, but since you'll need to stand on the roof in order to use it, at least you can listen to music or a ball game while everyone else is inside having fun. And you can assign Guzzlin Charlie to stand in for you at the bar.

That bow tie, though...I really want one of those!

Lidian said...

Tori - That's a shame! I hope that they are all hanging out at a nice cocktail lounge in Key West or something.

Bill - It might come in handy at a boring party - you know, an excuse to go stand out on the roof. "Got to go now, I have to find some aerial wire!"

tamilyn said...

My sister and I bought one of the drinking birds for my Mom back in 1972 or 1973. She probably thought it was lame-o, but had it on the kitchen counter anyways.

Lidian said...

tamilyn - That would have been a cool thing to have in the kitchen or on a windowsill, actually - and certainly now, it would be very retro and ironic.

I'm also thinking how much our cats would love watching it (it would have to be well out of their reach though!)