Thursday, February 19, 2009

Menswear Haiku

This guy looks quite sad.
Freedman may make guys look good.
Comfortable? No.

Look at him gesture:
Is he making brilliant points?
I do not think so.

Freedman wants to say:
Men look very very good
In these boring suits.

I say Freedman seems
Very insecure because
Too many verys.

Sir, why do you stand
Behind a box of strange height
Looking so depressed?

Unlucky yes-man
Stuffed into scratchy garments
Aims for debonair:

Alas, he just looks
As if large Canada geese
Nip at him unseen.

17 comments:

Tori Lennox said...

Is that Johnny Carson??? Or his Evil Twin?

Bill said...

I keep looking at this ad in disbelief. It's terrible! Who is going to look at this photo and think "Gee, I want to be that guy!"
I think they snapped the picture just as he held his hand out while saying "I demand payment up front for appearing in this crappy ad."

Anonymous said...

Tori Lennox beat me to it. I would swear that is Johnny Carson.

RE Ausetkmt said...

OMG, is he stuffed - do you think ?

Lidian said...

Tori - He looks like a well-fed Johnny Carson, yes, now that you mention it!

Bill - That's just what I loved about it, the expression on his face totally contradicts the copy.

RE - Probably! :)

Michele Cameron Drew said...

(passing out spectacles) The guy looks nothing like Johnny! And I do concur, what a terrible advertisement, but excellent poetry, Lidian. :)

-M

Goddess said...

LOL! Wonderful tribute to a horrible ad! (What IS up with the box of the strange height?!)

Shay said...

He looks kind of like Johnny Carson (on a bad night).

Lidian said...

Michele - I think we can all agree that he looks ill at ease, anyway (which is nothing like Johnny, is it?). And thank you! :)

Goddess - That box is very confounding, yes.

Shay - The guests clearly took their toll, in that case...I wonder who they were?

ettarose said...

That was my first thought, Johnny Carson. What a horrible picture, I can't imagine it sold very many suits. I would think if you wore one you would turn into a zombie.

Relax Max said...

Add me to the Johnny Carson column. Or a wax statue of him. But I don't think he really looks ill at ease. It's the Skinner's Raisin Bran is all. Thar she blows.

Relax Max said...

I don't know. Maybe Jim Carrey.

Lidian said...

Max - It's quite a story we can make out of this week's ads, isn't it? As Woody Allen says in Annie Hall, we can develop it into an idea, and then a concept, and then make it into a movie (or something like that).

Lidian said...

ettarose - Yes, that's the catch to looking so very good, you also become a zombie. The price of fashion, and all that.

Vicar Ezra said...

Perhaps. A bit disjointed. Abstract. But then so is Woody. It would be a better story if you would let us include the snake charmers and the magicians and such into the Raisin bran and blinking bow tie mix. Just my opinion. :)

Lidian said...

VicarEzra - You know, I was just pondering the future and thinking what it would be like to combine Virtual Etc. and Kitchen Whatsit. If I ever did, I would probably combine stories in the way that you suggest. Then I could call it Artistic and edgy, which would be quite good fun.

Cari Hislop said...

It's a young Johnny Carson. He's just told a really boring joke and now the audience is booing at him...can he run from the imminent shower of rotten fruit? No, because he's standing in a paper box and his suit is so tight and fitted that even if he could lift a leg out of the box he'd rip a vital seam in his trousers...so he's not going anywhere...he's going to stand there and take it like a man...in a cheap suit.