Monday, February 2, 2009

My Gal Sal Hepatica: The Imaginary Movie

Lulu used to be - well, an urban glamor girl. But then she got hitched and moved to the suburbs. And her bridal euphoria soon turning to - well, to feeling logy. That's Lulu's story, and she's sticking to it. But we know that "logy" is really code for "get me out of here, stat!"

Sal Hepatica to the rescue! For this is a remedy that sounds like it should be starring in a B movie - a tough gal, with a heart of gold. Brought up on the rough-and-tumble streets of New York City! And in this imaginary movie, she's coming to the rescue of her dear old pal Lulu.

Today Lulu is logy because Jack and Betty are coming for dinner. Why, they're the most boring bores in Boreville...with the exception of the guy in the three-piece suit, standing on the right looking vaguely amused. That would be Mr. Lulu. And he's cut from the same beige and sorry bolt of cloth as Jack and Betty.

That's a lulu of a state to be in, Lulu. First off, you need to make up a good excuse for Jack and Betty. You're in no state to play cards...Why, just tell them you're backed up - with work. Tell them something urgent has come up. Tell them your old friend Sal is coming to stay.

Then get on the phone to Sal. But wait - who's that pulling up in the driveway in her snazzy little roadster? Sal, of course - bringing some sparkle into the suburbs - as in some sparkling and medicinal beverages. Champagne, probably. Which may not cure what's ailing Logy Lulu. But it'll be a relief just the same.

Yes, we've all seen the movie. Lulu ends up getting a job as a nightclub singer. Mr. Lulu either becomes her manager or stays behind and gets remarried to Betty (Jack actually had a secret life and had to move away in a hurry).

And Sal? She marries the Quiet Casanova from yesterday's toothpaste ad. You know she wouldn't let him toss her on any doorstep.

9 comments:

Frogs in my formula said...

Are those Mystery Shoes on Mr. Lulu's feet? He sure gets around.

At 1st I thought "logy" meant constipated. The laxative commercials have obviously brainwashed me into thinking "gentle relief" is synonymous with them. Ugh!

ettarose said...

Who the hell is Sal? What the hell is Logy? I thought at first Sal had a loogy. eeewwwww!

Queenly Things said...

As a kid, I loved to repeat those syllables. Having no idea whatsoever what it was, I just loved the sound of it rolling off my tongue.

Lidian said...

Frogs in my Formula - Yes, here is the man who would buy those Mystery Shoes!

ettarose - Oh, that makes this ad extra gross (like this sort of thing isn't already, you would not believe how many ads delve into this issue, so to speak...OK, now I have grossed myself out)

Vallen - It IS a nice name.

Beth said...

What, precisely, is "liver upset"? Who knew your liver could be so moody? ;)

VintageGent said...

"Logy" actually means groggy, or more so sluggish and tired. I always take groggy more to mean your brain is mush. It may have come from the Danish immigrants as a derivative of their word "log" meaning "heavy."

Lidian said...

Beth - As far as I can tell my liver has never been moody.

VintageGent - Thank you for the explanation - that makes sense. I suppose they were being euphemistic...

Bill said...

The nice thing about this product is that it sparkles!!!
This ameliorates the fact that it sounds like liver disease.

Lidian said...

ettarose - Hey there, I didn't see you up there before, I'm sorry! (I blame my astigmatism) Sal is a mystery gal, and whatever Logy means to you, she'll be fighting it (c\'cause it ain't good, whatever it is).

Bill - It does indeed sparkle, just like Andrews' lovely Liver Salts, remember those?