Thursday, March 12, 2009

Hey Kids! Let's Put On A Show!

A few weeks ago I wrote about the Radio Microphone that you could really entertain people with at parties. Well, here's an ad for the same sort of thing - only it's from Nebraska, not Brooklyn. And unlike the eastern version, this one is made of "beautiful metallic plastic." Fancy!

Clearly they are much more fun out there in the Midwest than in Brooklyn, because there are some pretty wild suggestions about how to have FUN with it. You see, the Radio Microphone is not just a means of annoying guests at parties. Or rather, at "parties" - as this 1955 ad puts it. They probably aren't sure what they are implying with those quotation marks. I'm not sure anyone ever knew, really.

Well, now you can move on from "parties" and kick things up a notch by annoying not just friends, but strangers! How about those so-called professional broadcasters who are trying to, you know, get radio shows (or "radio shows") on the air. Yes, with the amazing Radio Mike you can "CUT IN ON or KID regular network programs." Harass them, in other words. Try not to giggle too much while you do this.

Won't the gang down at the station get a hearty chuckle out of your on-air shenanigans! You can interrupt the news to tell your latest joke. You might want to have an impromptu duet with Elvis. People will love that. And for a grand finale you could break into the political news show to wow everyone with your solo rendition of "My Way" - or, if you've just been to Dr. Martini's*, "That's Amore!"**

Seriously, if that isn't "Real Fun," I just don't know what is.

*Boy, how many past posts can she shill in this one? Two, it looks like. But I promise not to interrupt any CBC programming or anything.

**Tori will be turning the radio off just about now.


Heather Cherry said...


"That was a good post"

"Heeeeeeeelp, I can't stop quoting things!"

Bill said...

I'll bet you a silver dollar that Orson Welles used a prototype of this on his October '38 Mercury Theatre broadcast.

Tori Lennox said...

I was quite surprised to discover this product didn't come from CHICAGO! It seems Kearney is growing by leaps and bounds according to Wikipedia. And has TWO microbreweries! Maybe Kearney will once again become the city that reigns supreme in the useless product business!

(I'm drowning out That's Amore with Ole Buttermilk Sky by Hoagy Carmichael.... I'm not sure that's an improvment.)

bluecocktail said...

when i was a teen-ager, a "party" meant i was making out with a boy while his parents were gone. that dude looks like he might be doing the same!

"cut in" and "kid" may mean causing your mother to hear voices during her favorite maxwell house theater radio program that may eventually cause her to kill herself or others, when the voices tell her to do so!

Lidian said...

Heather - Oh, quotes are so much fun! Air quotes are also fun, but harder to blog, of course.

Bill - Oh, and I was going to get Orson one of these for Christmas! Back to the drawing board...

Tori - Go Kearney! Also Hoagy Carmichael!

bluecocktail - I'm sure there were all kinds of things you could do to "kid" people with this thing! :)

Hairball said...

I'm imagining being home back then and relaxing while listening to the radio. All of sudden, that bratty kid down the street cuts in and starts yammering about what his boogers look like. Ugh!

Lyn said...

"Beautiful metallic plastic"...if that isn't an oxymoron! But if this is the way to amaze my friends, I'll try anything..

HumorSmith said...

As a former dj,I say damn you Lidian! Damn your pernicious ads as well. Do you have any idea what you have done to radio in this country?

Of course, all this will be forgiven and never mentioned again if you will send $1,000 in small bills, (about 4 inches long will be fine), to

Thank you.

Phyl said...

You'd better not interrupt the CBC. [she says with a stern frown[

Oh wait -- interrupt Jonathan Goldstein's show on Radio One on Sunday afternoon. Yes. Anything would be better, in my uncharitable opinion.

Or should I say "opinion"??

Shay said...

I don't know about 1955, but nowadays if you cut in on a commercial radio broadcast the FCC will come after you.

I know this because once on a commex in southern California one of our radio operators got frustrated with the frequency we'd been assigned and pulled one to use out of his...out of thin air.

It unfortunately turned out to be a carrying freq for the local ABC affiliate.

Way to attract attention, fellas.

Lidian said...

Hairball - That's probably exactly the sort of thing that happened! :)

Lyn - That's a classic oxymoron! These ads are an oxymoronic goldmine (emphasis on the moronic)...

HumorSmith - They always blame the messenger, don't they? I don't write the ads - I just scan 'em! And re the money, who do you think you are anyway - Soupy Sales? ;)

Phyl - LOL! I would never interrupt the CBC, honestly! But maybe on Sunday afternoon, just for you :)

Shay - That sounds like quite a caper. Good thing they didn't have a Radio Mike. Did they?