Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Hot Dan the Mustard Man

Well, hello there, Hot Dan. Who knew that you'd been hiding under the floor joists in our basement since 1950? Not me. Renovating can be so rewarding! I just didn't think that it would help out around here, too.

Anyway, I ironed Hot Dan and some of his little advertisement pals last night. They were very yellow and extremely crumpled (the fabulous full-color Dreft ad may need a re-iron, come to think of it). So I did what I could.

He seems to be pointing to his huge bow tie for some reason. I hope there isn't any mustard on that. But there would have to be. How could you not get mustard (and plenty else) all over that thing?

It also has to be said that in the modern sense of the word "hot", Dan just - isn't. He gets points for a cheerful disposition and a possible sense of humor. But a hottie? Not a lottie.

Still, Not So Hot Dan looks quite perky - perkier than any one of us after only one day of interacting with the floor joists (never mind 59 years!).

And if that alone isn't a ringing endorsement for French's, I don't know what is.

11 comments:

David said...

It seems like not so hot Dan is missing a word. Like cold meats "go" better with French's/

Venom said...

Maybe Hot Dan has another definition of prepared mustard in mind....

Tori Lennox said...

As tubby as Not So Hot Dan is, he has to have been eating something besides mustard and cold cuts...

Lidian said...

David - You're right. And I was also missing a word in the first sentence (I blame Hot Dan, of course).

Venom - I was thinking that he might. But the possibilities there are so dreadful that I just pushed them aside (right back into those floor joists, in fact).

Tori - Yeah, Dan has been snacking on something, but what? Never mind, I don't really want to know...

Hairball said...

That ginormous bow tie makes me think that ol' Hot Dan is possibly compensating for something there.

Seriously, where *do* you find a bow tie that freakishly large?? LOL

Amy said...

yes maybe hot dan really is a hottie underneath the lid...

tim h said...

If we look through Hot Dan's false smile, we can see he's trying to tell us the French's banner wants to kill him.

Poor Hot Dan.

Dorothy said...

emmm I love mustard...and after 59 years wow..

Dorothy from grammology
grammology.com

Heather Cherry said...

Would you rather Lukewarm Dan peddle his mustard wares? I can't decide which is preferable.

Bill said...

Wait! What??? Did you find a secret pantry in your basement? The Case of the Hidden Larder? Is this a job for Nancy Drew???

Lidian said...

Hairball - I think Hot Dan absolutely is overcompensating! The boastful shirt is another clue :)

Amy - It seems unlikely though...

tim - Yes, I think there may be a hot temper beneath that big smile. A cartoon, 50s Gordon Ramsay, perhaps? (What a thought!)

Dorothy - Well, it is pretty good mustard!

Heather - Or maybe Cool Dan in Ray Bans...

Bill - No, I wish! That would be so great, a hidden larder...The 50s renovators had used the newspapers as some sort of filling/insulation. I don't know much about it, really.