Tuesday, March 10, 2009

A Meditation On Lusty Kalms

Good fortune smiles down
On one whose given surname
Is such perfection!

All Nervous Nellies
Must be drawn to such a pill -
This new Lusty Kalm!

O happy is she
With pure herbal sedation!
Whatever that means.

A Lucky Charm, though
Is similar but in sound:
It's mere cereal.

Best not to inquire
What makes old Lusty so Kalm -
Life is worth living!

It's safe to assume
That it's all medicinal.
All natural, too.

O clever Lusty
Here comes Serenity Now:
In Westcliff-on-Sea

The sun shines brighter -
The pharmacies there all sell
Your harmless calmness.

Many many thanks to Amy, author of the delightful I Love Retro Things, for this and other wonderful ads! And another thank you to Jamie, the lovely Hussy Housewife - who also sent me some terrific ads awhile back (Jamie, I just figured out how to download them from a zip file, so that's going to help! At this rate it'll only take me about 6 more months to figure out Twitter).

23 comments:

Mary Moore said...

I wouldn't mind me some Lusty Kalm right about NOW!

Grace said...

An oxy-moron???

A. said...

Definitely a contradiction in terms! I'll never look on Westcliff on Sea in quite the same way. I didn't think they would worry about calming thoughts there.

OLLIE MCKAY'S ~ A Chic Boutique said...

Lusty Kalms?? Love it ~ And love reading all this fun stuff that you find!!

Lidian said...

Mary - Oh, me too!

Grace - Yes, it can be.

A. - I have never been to Westcliff-on-Sea. I have been to Brighton though, which is not calm in summer (I really liked it though).

Ollie - Thanks, I always like visiting you too! :)

Bill said...

Lusty's Kalms!!!
The oxymoronic herbal soother that keeps you horny and happy!

Mother's Little Helper,
Daddy's Little Friend!
Smoke it in a joint,
or into brownies blend!

Available at finer street corners and back alleys everywhere.

Erica said...

I'm wondering if this might mean "Lusty" was the thing that got "Kalm"ed... since back in the day, any sex-related thoughts were obviously COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY WRONG, and meant you were a bad person.

Or maybe they were made by the unfortunately-surnamed Dr. Lusty. Who the hell knows :)

Tori Lennox said...

When I've got some serious lust going on, calm (or even kalm) is the last thing I feel.

Lidian said...

Bill - That is a brilliant poem and really sums it all up! :)

Erica - I think that Dr. Lusty just happened to have a very - evocative - name!

Tori - Yes, as Mary notes in the first comment, there is something oxymoronic about the name, isn't there?

Lidian said...

Sorry, that was Grace and also A. who noted the oxymoron -

Kudos to all of you though, it is SO much fun to read your fabulous comments! :)

Ducking Little said...

So, I need to style my 50s kitchen. Can you help?

Lyn said...

Tried every other kind, now I'm looking for some Kalm Lust, whatever that is!!

Lyn said...

Tried every other kind, now I'm looking for some Kalm Lust, whatever that is!!

Hairball said...

The name of this product is just *snorting laughter* so very sad!

Amy said...

Glad you could use the ads, some of them were way funny, especially this one, what a name for a product "lusty" lol

Shay said...

Mind-boggling. Where do you find this stuff???

Lin said...

Can you wash one of these down with a martini?

Lidian said...

Duckling Little - I'm not sure if I can, but maybe some of the visuals around here could inspire you.

Lyn - That would be good, too!

Hairball - But also it is funny, which is good.

Amy - Thank you so much, couldn't have done it without you :)

Shay - Well, Amy sent me this one! She helped a LOT!

Lin - You can, I guess. But you mighty get too Lusty. Or too Kalm.

The Hussy Housewife said...

I sooo need this supplement for nerves! Thanks for archiving history!

Thanks for the shout out!! I would like to tell you I am on twitter too..so I guess I will see ya in 6 months ;)

Lidian said...

Jamie - I need some of it too, believe me. And I'm going to go see about adding you on Twitter, i think I can just about manage that! :)

Lidian said...

Jamie - Actually I am already following you, which is good. But clearly I need some Lusty Kalms to help me remember when I have already done something!

Chris said...

Lusty Kalm is my porn name

Lidian said...

Chris - Of course, how did I miss that as a possibility?