Friday, March 13, 2009

Monster A Goo-Goo

Oh, lovely. "You must avoid Greasy Goo." Thanks for the tip. I had no idea!

One way to avoid Greasy Goo would be not to hang around under those creepy letters which clearly have escaped from some B-movie called The Thing From Planet Goo.

That parted-down-the-middle look is not helping either. The Before guy - yet another disembodied head (he's from the horror film too) - has many issues besides the state of his hair. I mean, look at him. He looks like Benny Hill in Granny Clampitt's Sunday wig.

Kreml is not going to help with that.

And the hand! The hand! Where did that come from? I don't even think it belongs to him. Whose hand is it? Does it belong to Jughead down in the lower lefthand corner? (If so, perhaps it is looking for his Jughead hat).

Then we move on to the post-Kreml guy. But his hair looks the same as the Before Head's hair. He parts his hair in a different place, but he looks just as greasy as Granny Benny.

Also, he is about to try and sell us a terrific used car. Driven only on Sundays by a little old lady from Peoria. Just guess who the little old lady is. Hint: she doesn't use Kreml. And the car she was driving? Don't buy it. It runs on Greasy Goo. And it will take you to some terrifying places.

This 1949 gem is from Duke University's Ad Access. And the terrible, awful best-I-can-do title is from this 1965 horror movie, Monster A Go-Go - it's on the list of one of the worst films ever made (and that's saying something!). The movie poster image is from Wikipedia, which is where the last link takes you. If you want to go there, that is...

15 comments:

TheSnackHound said...

Even the folks at Mystery Science Theater 3000 thought that Monster a Go-Go was bad. Maybe the worst, and most incoherent film they ever viewed.

Whose hand is it? Was that rhetorical? Because I was going to say a relative of "Thing" Addams.

When I saw the "before" guy, I actually first thought of Mo Howard.

Bill said...

The guy in the 'after' ad reminds me of someone, but I can't quite put my finger on it. Or, more likely, am afraid to because of the goo.
Probably a politician, televangelist, or game show host.

A-Go-Go is one of those title enhancers like O-Rama. Meaningless, but adds a kick.

Tori Lennox said...

He looks like Benny Hill in Granny Clampitt's Sunday wig.

This has me laughing so hard I can't come up with a funny comeback.

These dudes obviously never heard the Brill Cream jingle, "A little dab'll do you". Bet the Brill Cream guys don't have greasy goo hair.

Though I'd like to know what's wrong just going natural and avoiding that stuff in the first place? I can't imagine running my fingers through Greasy Goo Hair. Ick!

Lidian said...

SnackHound - My first thought was Moe, too. That is Moe hair. Mohair, ha ha. (Oh dear, I really need more coffee, or maybe less coffee). The hand is definitely a relative of the Thing. And also, I would like to see this movie, actually.

Bill - He does look like someone! I thought so too, but a generic sort of slick talker.

Tori - The Kreml people think you need a whole cup o' Kreml!

cube said...

Your funny post elicited some humorous comments. Good job.

nonamedufus said...

You're taking me back to when I was about 8 and I used Barber's Butch wax to keep my brushcut standing up. Damn stuff ran all down my face in the summer time.

Lidian said...

cube - I think so too. No surprise either! :)

nonamedufus - I have never heard of Barber's Butch, I will have to look out for that in the ads. What a name! :)

Heather Cherry said...

LOL, the dripping letters. Why do you suppose there were so many disembodied heads, floating torsos and random hands in all those old ads? I don't find it to be a particularly effective marketing technique...

Jan from BetterSpines said...

I think there were floating heads etc because they (like me) didn't know how to edit and upload pictures!
But seriously folks, the befores are always ugly and evil - but give them the good stuff and *glint* they are a handsome hero. And handsome heroes don't have fly away hair.

Carol - iPentimento - Genealogy and History said...

I love coming here. You always leave me laughing! This had me thinking of antimacassars. You know, those little crocheted things they would put on chair backs and arms. They were actually to keep the macassar oil from men's hair off the good furniture. I thought they were a product of granny having too much time on her hands and too much crochet thread. Ha!

Lidian said...

Heather - I don't know, but maybe it really was to evoke the horror movies of the time, the cheesy paperback novels, the comic books and true-horror-story magazines...because there were a lot of those!

Jan - No, they never do. They can withstand gale force winds and everything!

Carol - In the case of one of my great grandmothers, it WAS because the dear lady had too much time on her hands. And then she gave them as Christmas presents to her lucky grandchildren.

Dwacon® said...

Join the sunshine club and your days of messing with hair products are over. You will just start messing with scalp products, but even so...

Lidian said...

Dwacon - Ah, but I still have to mess around up on top of my head! :)

Hairball said...

If you had a door with squeaky hinges, these two could come over and drip some of that goo on it and fix you right up. Ugh!

Kreml. I keep wanting to say Kremlin.

Lidian said...

Hairball - Yes, there is probably I Kreml/Kremlin joke in there somewhere...I wonder if Kruschchev used Kreml? (He was pretty bald, though, wasn't he? Too lazy to check!)