Sunday, March 1, 2009

A Silf-Made Woman

Well, that name won't win any prizes: Silf Obesity Tablets. That's the best they could come up with? Where's the imagination in that? I get the Sylph/Silf thing, that's not a bad start. But then it's as if the copywriters and artists all...fell into a stupor.

They probably ate too many sugar doughnuts. That'll do it every time.

I mean, the "grateful lady" needs a name and a backstory, people! I want to know exactly how - let's call her Mildred - "freed herself from fat." I want details. And then I would like the rest of the 1940s movie:

She travels on a ship from England to the US, charming men as she sails. Then it's off to Hollywood where Mildred wins a bit part on a motion picture. She then gets the lead when the big star throws a tantrum and demands a huge salary increase. They don't have any extra money because the director lost all the money in the budget, gambling. He's devilishly handsome, the director, but no good at blackjack. He's making his comeback with this movie - was brilliant and destined for great things, however this did not work out (see: gambling issues).

Mildred (who has fallen in love with him, of course) goes to Las Vegas and wins all the money back because (and here we come back to the product!) Silf gave her the silf-confidence to use the amazing mathematics skills she had as a child. She has suddenly remembered her math. She quickly calculates how to win (oh, don't ask me how - my mathematics skills are not amazing).

Too bad Mildred looks so sleepy in the ad though - I think she's been working the blackjack tables too hard. Plus there seems to be the Mildred of Christmas Past behind her, eager for revenge. And she's due back on the set in three hours...

I can't imagine how this is all going to end. Let me know if you have any idea.

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A thousand thanks to Don over at the very funny Beyond Left Field for the shout out for both my blogs! He is one of my daily reads and, well, I am quite honored. So do go over there right now and check him out, OK?

And another thousand thanks to Max over at the intriguing Clarity 2009 (another daily read of mine) for mentioning this blog so very many times! Glad to be of some inspiration, and all that (I hope that this has intrigued you enough to go over and visit him, too).

7 comments:

Tori Lennox said...

Surely Mildred (who has changed her name to Melisande Moreau) and the director who is so thrilled she won back the money falls madly in love with her and her mad math skills and they live happily ever after!

Tori Lennox said...

And, yeah, who IS that woman standing behind Mildred? She looks old enough to be Mildred's mother or grandmother!

mincognita said...

Based on the before and after images, apparently when you take SILF obesity pills you'll not only lose inches, you'll lose about 30 years.

Bill said...

If you had written the backstory, this stuff would still be around.
I'm just trying to figure out how many Bette Davis movies you had to mash together to come up with it. So far I've tallied Now, Voyager and All About Eve. I'm also thinking Bordertown and, perhaps, Mr. Skeffington.

Lidian said...

Tori - It might be her evil grandmother's ghost...who knows?
And you're right, I forgot - she has to have changed her name!

mincognita - Yes, that's a fun side effect.

Bill - I was subconsciously thinking of Bette Davis, I guess - thanks for listing the pictures. I saw Now, Voyager ages ago and was very struck by it. Apparently! :)

Ann's Rants said...

Sadly, she gets knocked up and gains the weight all over again. The only good news? Now she can be a MILF! Came over via HBDC...

Lidian said...

Ann - Yeah, that's the sequel! Excellent. And glad to see you, too. I am going to go visit you now...