Monday, April 6, 2009

The Atlantic City Matador

Joe Smith wanted to impress and puzzle his friends. Which called for drastic measures, since the electric bow tie didn't really do either of those things. And that had been - up to now - the best idea he'd had.

Spencer Gifts came charging to the rescue with this fabulous offer. Spencer promised that everyone's reaction to the above will not be (a) uncontrollable, hysterical laughter but, in fact, (b) hushed, admiring remarks like, "Joe Smith has lived dangerously!" And that is the whole point of the Genuine Bullfight Poster: genuine awe. Because it's a genuine poster, made of real paper. It's just got a fake name or two on it - and is completely, laughably misleading, that's all.

But Joe just wanted to be "the first matador in his set" - all those "bull-throwing friends" of his. But no one threw bull as well as Joe. And when his friends got an eyeful of this poster - well, they were completely confused. Astonished. "Gosh," they said, "We thought Joe was a used-car salesman...but apparently, when we thought he was going to all those Ford conventions in Des Moines he was really in Spain fighting bulls!"

Now Joe really only got as far as Atlantic City - that is where he had this delightful poster made. And he remembered to get George to send some postcards from Barcelona, just to impress his friends a little bit more.

Soon they all wanted to be pretend matadors. And that livened up the local cocktail party circuit. Red capes flying, martini glasses keeling over as middle-aged suburban males charged around someone's living room, pretending they were in a sunbaked bullring.

Just mind the coffee table, boys. And the hi fi speakers. Oh, and the bowl of onion dip....never mind. Too late. Just make sure you hide the Waterford punch bowl before Joe sees it.

14 comments:

Heather Cherry said...

Can this be the same "Spencer's Gifts" that sells lava lamps, naked fat lady joke cards, and beer company paraphernalia in the mall?

Cookie Brochette said...

Oooo, I should make personalized posters with names of people who use the Easy Bake oven! Fun, no? LOL

Tori Lennox said...

What if you'd rather run away and join the circus without, you know, running away and joining the circus? Is there a poster for that?

David said...

Where would America be without the creative genius of Spencer's for those unique gifts that jazz up every dinner party and holiday gift giving occasion?

Down the crapper, I'm sure.

~~louise~~ said...

Some things never change. The Spencer's gifts in our mall still makes the same promises!

No BULL!!!

Me-Me King said...

I have bought many a prank item from Spencer's Gifts. My favorite was the plastic ice cube w/fly! I noticed the pricing - wow, what a deal for 2 posters. Ole!

feefifoto said...

Joe Smith!?!? I think I went to high school with him!

Lidian said...

Heather - Oh my, are they still around? That's fantastic!

Cookie - A perfect gift for any occasion!

Tori - I'll bet Spencer's has a poster like that, for sure.

David - I am going to look and see if they have a website. I had no idea. Clearly they are holding the social fabric together...

louise - This is amazing! They are in malls too, huh? (I am missing out up here in Canada I guess)

Me-Me - I've seen those ice cubes (somewhere - where? when?) but never knew that Spencerian genius was behind them.

ettarose said...

Spencers is the bomb!. I had my picture put on a poster for Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition. Funny thing is no one believed me. :(

Hairball said...

*snorts*

Lidian said...

feefifoto - I think I might have too.

ettarose - I've been missing out on all this Spencerian pop culture. Will have to catch up.

Hairball - I'll second that!

Leisa said...

My ex got one of these when he visited spain as a kid ... he was (still is!) so proud of it ... I spent $150 getting it matted & framed *sighs*

Mags said...

I got one made when I was in Spain a few years ago - photo and another. I kept forgetting how to spell a character's surname so I put it on this as a handy reference...the character in question was alleged to have had such a poster so it was research, yes.

Lidian said...

Leisa - That was awfully nice of you!

Mags - That is fun research! Great poster, too.