Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Charmed to the Teeth

I found a nice charm school for the Face-elle girl from yesterday's post!* She'll have to commute from Windsor to Toronto, but the opportunity to study with Eleanor Fulcher is just too good to resist.

For 4 Exciting Weeks she can learn all sorts of things. Well, four things. I guess that's one per week. And there's a menu right on the ad so that the charmless, gormless students can choose their very own combo plates from the following: Figure, Walking, Skin Care, Make-Up, Hairstyling, Wardrobe, Hand Care, Etiquette, Voice and Poise.

If you don't learn how to Walk, how do they teach you Poise? Are you only going to be poised when posed in a chair? And if you choose Skin Care but not Hand Care, does Miss Fulcher make you wear mittens? So many questions...

But the results speak for themselves. That's quite a dramatic Before and After. In fact, it looks like those are two entirely different women. The one on the left is Awkward and Unsure, supposedly - though she looks pretty sure to me. After Girl is Poised and Confident. That's because she has had a nose job and is wearing two inches of solid makeup. They both look happy, though. That must be because they are enjoying Modern, Air-Conditioned Comfort - in the middle of December. The Art of Faking Smiles must be a prerequisite for the course.

Eleanor and Co. are still around and their website is over yonder. This ad is from the Toronto Star, November 1963.

* Thank you so much to my pal Hairball for inspiring this post!

13 comments:

Tori Lennox said...

I wonder if they'll let you attend twice so you can learn the four things you missed the first time around?

Bill said...

Gosh, I am in a state of excitement & confusion! All these choices!
I'm not planning on ever wearing make-up, so that's easy to rule out. I'm told I have a nice voice, so I won't bother with that lesson. When I get out of my car, I usually end up wherever I was headed, so I'll pass on walking for now.
All the others are up for grabs, though. One question: does Figure mean my physique or my mathematical abilities? I need help with both, but I'd like to know what I'm getting into before I commit.

Me-Me King said...

All this? In modern, air-conditioned comfort? Such a deal at twice the price!

Love it! From skank to socialite in just 4 weeks.

Stephanie B said...

Wow, $25 to fix my figure. That's a bargain! I wonder, do they use a chain saw? How does that affect the skin class?

Phyl said...

And try maintain poise throughout that procedure!

Amy said...

hmm do I even have a figure, wonder if this sort of thing's possible for those who have had children?

Margo said...

I would stay 8 weeks for $50, if I got to take all 10 offerings. I think these two women look like mother and daughter. Also, I keep seeing things here on your blog that I think must date from LONG before I was born, and I'm always way off.

Dr. Julie-Ann said...

So I eagerly went to their website, hoping that I could learn how to be poised, modulate my voice, figure out what to do with my baby fine hair, etc. and my hopes were dashed away.

It appears that they don't offer these basics for the average person like me anymore. But if I want to be a model or actress, I'm in luck.

I figure I'm already a pretty good actress--there are tons of examples of me standing in front of a class filled with college students thinking that I had it all together. If they only knew... *wicked laugh*

Hairball said...

I took tap, ballet, and tumbling lessons from the little dance school in my hometown back in the 70's. We got a little "charm school" mixed in with our lessons. How to walk with a book on your head, good manners, how to sit and walk like a lady, etc...

Because of Miss Maurine's efforts, I'm the epitome of charm today.

It's not polite to laugh like that Lidian! *stomps off in a huff*

Lidian said...

Tori - For another $25, why not?

Bill - It all sounds rather mysterious, doesn't it? There was an I Love Lucy where they go to a place like this. I almost posted a clip, but it didn't make anything any clearer.

Me-Me - It's a sweet deal all right!

Stephanie - The Skin class is the week after, I guess.

Phyl - That's the final exam.

Margo - It does seem like a LONG time ago - but I was around when this ad came out, too. I was only a year old though, so no charm school for me.

Dr. Julie-Ann - Their new website frightened me, I did not stay long.

Hairball - Hey, that reminds me! On 'Romper Room' they had the kids walk around with a posture thingie on their heads and you could buy the one that they used. Guess who had one! And tried to use it. What fun! Am I making this up or did anyone else have one? It was red, plastic, sort of like a basket. But for posture. Circa 1966. I MUST be making it up...

Lidian said...

Hairball - So that is why I am not actually laughing at you, because I was doing this too (I also tried with books, but they always fell right off).

Bill said...

I do think I'll sign up after thinking about it overnight. I had decided on Lowood, but Mr. Brocklehurst evades my questions about whether they offer air-conditioned comfort.

Lidian said...

Bill - Air conditioning is crucial. Especially, of course, in the summer.