Thursday, April 9, 2009

Ultra Tiresome Wireless

Well, Mike - you certainly won't be making any meaningful connections with people once you start using this wireless nightmare.

As for hookups - uh uh, not gonna happen.

That's because you'll be walking around everywhere - parties, the office, campsites, the movie theater - and, as they say, "your voice comes booming through." Won't that be swell!

Ultra-Mike is not a toy- it's a rugged, scientifically engineered transmitter in mike form that gives high fidelity - performance.

They hesitated there, didn't they? They're not sure if it's a performance or - something else...Noise pollution? Civil disobedience? Violation of municipal by-law? You be the judge!

This has got to be the final, frightening endpoint of fun-with-microphones ads, doesn't it? Ultra-Mike was the Godzilla of proto-karaoke. There couldn't have been anything more mobile, more obnoxious - could there?

Advertisement from 1948. For a review of the increasingly menacing microphones, please see:

The Life of the Party
Hey Kids! Let's Put On A Show!


Tori Lennox said...

It only has a 50-foot range? I could yell just as well for that distance. And save myself $10.

Bill said...

You are right...those other ads were kids' stuff compared to the Ultra-Mike. Now we get a glimpse of the horror that awaits us.

You were also keen with the observation about the hesitation before they decided on the word performance. The company's internal memos probably said invasive indoctrination.

Hairball said...

I like the picture where they are using this as a baby monitor. Now that is a very practical use for this item.

Sorry, my snark is at the cleaners!

Me-Me King said...

Testing 1 - 2 - 3....can you hear me? LOL!

Lin said...

It's freakin' HUGE! And it could double for a pencil sharpener--look at it!

Margo said...

So fancy! I bet all the cool cats wanted one. full bodied volume sounds very fun AND practical.

Cookie Brochette said...

OMG, how much do I want one of these mics?! (A lot!) I could broadcast all my daily thoughts to everyone who is willing to listen. And even those who aren't! LOL

Cookie B.

Relax Max said...

Well, SOMEBODY must have been buying them, judging by all the competitive ads for these things. Maybe there just wasn't that much to do back then.

A "full" 50-foot range implies that 50-feet is a lot. That's like down the hall and in the bedroom. What? And it has its own tube. Of what? Gleem?

Carry it with you. Talk as you walk. Just don't walk more than 50 feet away from the radio. :)

I thought this one was better than the others. I actually long to marvel at its fine modulation.

Relax Max said...

Yes I know what a vacuum tube is. Stop it.

Kloggers/Polly said...

Hi Lidian - This is totally off the point but I tried to send you a message in bc - please take a look at

All the best, Polly

Lidian said...

Tori - Shh, they don't want anyone to figure that out!

Bill - I can only hope that there is nothing more ultra than this one.

Hairball - That's a good use for this thing.

Me-Me - I can!

Lin - Yes, but the pencil-sharpener will cost five dollars more.

Margo - It's practical to annoy all your friends at once. Saves time!

Cookie - And I'll bet I could have called to my kids when they went to school ten minutes' walk away, too! If I'd only known.

Max - Can you imagine if a whole town was buying all these mikes?
Plus I KNOW you know what a vacuum tube is. And I started nothing! Nothing, I tell you! (Let's not even go into the L.I.D.I.A.N stuff on your comments the other day...)

Polly - Oh, I hardly ever go to BC anymore...I'll drop you an e mail or something, OK?