Sunday, May 31, 2009

Bad Dreamland

What strange amusement park
Straight out of a bad dream
Or possibly out of the pages
Of a Merck Manual
Can this ride be from?

On Laxative Merry-Go-Round?
Not merry. No thanks.

But later on, still more to endure:

The Rollercoaster of Bad Moods,
The Tunnel of Enough,
The Tilt-A-Hurl,
The Haunted Subconscious House.

Then it will be time for a snack:
Cotton cavity candy,
Imitation popcorn with imitation fake butter ,
And soda that belches in the cup
then jumps out and spills on your pants.

Tomorrow all right?
Sparkling bright?

It will be when I wake up
To eye-searing sunlight striping venetian blinds,
My tickets gone.

Or else I could just close the magazine on this ad,

Either one.


Tori Lennox said...

This whole ad is just... wrong.

Margie and Edna said...

Stop the laxative merry-go-round, I want to get off!

I'm at a loss as to how a "candy-coated" laxative (yuck) can make you "look better." Are you supposed to apply it topically? ;)

--Beth (aka "Edna")

Relax Max said...

No restlessness or sudden necessity.

I am in awe at your poetic ability btw.

Bill said...

And soda that belches in the cup
then jumps out and spills on your pants.
Who needs the NR Amusement Park when we can just visit the funland of Lidian's mind?

Lidian said...

Tori - It certainly is.

Beth - I think it must be a 50s version of 'chocolated' Ex Lax. Ugh.

Max - Indeed not...And thank you.

Bill - It's quite a Coney Island in there (in here?), at that.

Eric said...

I don't know why, but I got a weird mental image of a merry go round with toilets on the poles instead of horses. It is still all very disturbing to me...

GoRetroGirl said...

It's an "all vegetable" laxative...errr, why not just eat vegetables?

GoRetroGirl said...

With a spot of Bovril, of course.

Lidian said...

Eric - That certainly is a disturbing image.

GoRetroGirl - Indeed, why not eat vegetables? Just exactly the sort of excellent question they do not want people to be asking.

Brandon Burt said...

Ugh. At Nature's Remedyland Fun Park, the employees grumbled when management assigned them to operate the "Laxative Merry-Go-Round." But it wasn't the worst job at the park.

They all pitied the poor saps unlucky enough to be working the dismally long shifts at the "Fleet Enema Fun House."

Lidian said...

Brandon - I'm staying out of that one, yes indeedy.

Hairball said...

*laughs evilly* We could start a lot of trouble with a pound of the candy coated variety and a cookie recipe!

Lidian said...

Hairball - LOL, we sure could!