Monday, May 25, 2009

Rage Before Beauty

Mirror, mirror, on the wall
Who's the flakiest one of all?


It's Monday morning, so it is time once again to "take a look in your morning mirror" and see if you have dry skin. Is your face an alluring magnet or is it the face of a lumberjack with a complexion flakier than a French pastry?

You'd just better hope not, because dry skin is what "makes 3 out of 4 women unhappy." Well? Are you dehydrated and unhappy? If you are, you may expect your husband to phone you later and say "I won't be home tonight!"

But you will know what to do, if such is the case. As soon as you get the Dreaded Phone Call, simply put on your finest cocktail attire complete with big hat. And don't forget to grab that axe on the way out the door. Then head for the nearest telephone pole and start chopping!

Oh, and then go home and wash your face with Beauty in the Morning.

You know, maybe he won't be home tonight because he's afraid of her - smiling like that and holding a large axe. I don't think soap is really the issue here, do you? And now that I think of it, let's make sure we hide the Bee Hive Syrup from this lady, OK?


Thank you Ad Access for this strange gem from 1948 .

17 comments:

ceemee said...

That is one scary lady! I wouldn't want to scare my husband into not coming home tonight!

Lin said...

Forget the pole--I'd be chopping homeboy's head if he kept calling in saying he won't be home!! A little bar of soap isn't going to be helping this lovely axe-yielding woman!!

Tori Lennox said...

Hmm. I thought that was a TV antennae and couldn't figure out what it had to do with anything. LOL!

Phyl said...

I was wondering, with that axe, if the box was really really hard to get open.

Dr. Julie-Ann said...

The ad says that if I use Beauty in the Morning, I will tingle "with a new aliveness that [I] feel at once." Well, if that's the case, I don't even need Mr. Ne'er-do-well to come home. I'm feeling tingly all by myself, thank you very much!

Mommy Kennedy said...

Cute posting! Thanks for sharing!

Hi, just stopping by to drop my EC.

Feel free to come back to my blog. I just posted a giveaway for a coupon for a FREE appetizer at TGI Friday's!

http://thefrugalkennedys.blogspot.com/2009/05/free-appetizer-coupon-giveaway.html

Bill said...

Beauty in the Morning...
Loony when the five o'clock whistle blows.
Before she chops down the telephone pole, she uses the axe to hack the burned pot roast into portions that will fit in the Pyrex refrigerator containers.
And then she sits in the darkened living room with her axe and waits...

Lidian said...

ceemee - Yes, isn't she something?1

Lin - I wonder what this lady would make of something like that Google thing where you track where people are on the street etc (blocking on name) - ?

Tori - She's already taken care of the TV antenna!

Phyl - I think she's going to manage.

Dr. Julie Ann - That is an excellent point!

Mommy Kennedy - Hi, I will try and swing by later! :)

Bill - Yes, there's a B movie in here somewhere. And maybe Susan Hayward can play the lead?

Lidian said...

Or Bette Davis...

Shay said...

or Lizzie Borden.

Alicia aka "Fashiona" said...

Well said Lin.

Lidian said...

Shay - Oh yes, absolutely.

Alicia - I agree! :)

Hairball said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Hairball said...

Lidian,
Since things are not looking so well for our axe wielding damsel, perhaps she might find true love with the guy from the Bee Hive Syrup ad? They both like axes! LOL

Lidian said...

Hairball - If they do go on a date, I want to be far away! :)

Brandon Burt said...

This means, of course, that dry skin makes 1 out of 4 women happy.

Aren't the truly fortunate ones those who can derive joy from life's simple pleasures? Those merry little piles of gray, flaky, sloughed-off epithelial cells, and those cheerfully terroristic attempts to disrupt the country's communications network ...

No, actually, I'm afraid of those people.

Lidian said...

Brandon - You're entirely right, that's the logic here. And yet...dry skin never seems to add to my happiness. I guess I am using the wrong sort of products.