Tuesday, May 19, 2009

A Volto From the Blue

It's just another day in 1945, in the "timberlands of the great Northwest." And then this guy from Mars just shows up right in the middle of the pine forest. Name's Volto. Just thought he'd drop in and say hi.

Hi, how's life on Mars? Oh, not too bad. How's it going here in the timberlands? It's peachy, all right. Lots of timber, lots of land!

And also lots of interesting fashion choices. Volto seems to have stolen Superman's extra leotard as well as Little Red Riding Hood's trademark headgear. And the forest ranger is wearing a bright yellow shirt teamed with lavender pants and a matching hat.

It's what they're wearing this spring in the national parks - now at all participating department stores.

So much for fashion... now it's time to cue the forest fire. Jimmy (some kid who's hanging around, I don't know why) was probably smoking a cheroot behind a pine tree and wasn't listening to Smokey the Bear - hey, where is Smokey the Bear, anyway? That's a little suspicious. OK, make a note of that. We'll try and bring him in for questioning later.

Anyway, a burning tree is about to fall on Jimmy's head but Volto uses his magnetic hands to move the tree away. One hand attracts stuff, the other repels. That really could be very useful. Think how much cleaning you could get done. Or at least you could shove things under beds and into closets really fast if unexpected company dropped by. Maybe Volto could drop by my house later and do some decluttering.

I'd better make sure there's plenty of cereal on hand, though. Because after Volto saves the day, he likes a little snack. You know how that is. First comes the adrenalin rush, next thing you know you're hungry. Especially for "the dandiest whole-grain cereal on earth," Grape Nut Flakes.

And Volto likes it - he really likes it! He even wants to take some back to Mars. To which Jimmy says, philosophically, we can't be magnetic like him but we sure can get energy from Grape Nut Flakes - the cereal with neither grapes nor nuts. No magnets, either. OK, I'm sold. I'm giving up on Cocoa Krispies and making the switch!

How about you? What were your favorite cereals as a kid? Please do tell.

[Advertisement from November 1945 edition of the comic book Black Terror, found on Wikimedia. It's a little bigger over there if you want the full thrilling read. I didn't make it bigger here because otherwise it will take my blog so much time to load, you could go out to the store and buy Grape Nut Flakes, and come back and eat a bowlful, before it finally loaded up. And that's no fun! ]

10 comments:

Bill said...

You know, you could drive yourself nuts thinking about the unfairness of life. Apparently, Volto gets magnetic powers and the Grape Nuts, while Jimmy (and the rest of us) just gets a crappy box of cereal. And with poorly designed graphics on the box, to boot, if this little cartoon is a realistic depiction.

We always had cereal on hand growing up for emergencies, but Mom usually prepared a hot breakfast. She didn't buy many sugary cereals, so the pantry had selections like Special K and All-Bran. Boring grown-up cereals. I had to spend the night with friends to hope for Count Chocula and the like.

TiLT said...

Volto's headgear reminds me of the guys who did the hangings way back when...
and the ranger's outfit - a tad feminine or more pimp? hmmm...

cereal - never liked it, so no fave :(

Tori Lennox said...

Isn't that Jimmy Olsen? He's probably trying to break into reporting with a story about Superman's stolen suit.

Love the ranger's riding boots too. They go so well with his lavender pants and yellow shirt.

As for cereal, I've been diabetic since I was five so we didn't have much in the way of fun cereal. But when I was older and occasionally cheated, I was all about the Froot Loops. And Lucky Charms. Loved those fake marshmallow treats. *g*

FreshHell said...

I liked anything with sugar - in fact all those cereals with the word "sugar" in them: Super Sugar Smacks, etc. Quisp, Quake, Cap'n Crunch, Honeycombs, Count Chocula - but I rarely was allowed to eat them. Once I begged for a box of Lucky Charms. My mom said she buy them if I ate the cereal and not just the marshmallows. I promised. But I only ate the marshmallows. She was pissed and wouldn't buy it for me again. No fair!

The American Homemaker said...

Your blog is pretty fun :) I also have a habit of reading vintage ads, magazines and such and poking fun at almost everything in them... LOL

Stephanie B said...

How exactly does one stop a falling/burning tree with magnetics? It's not like the tree's made of iron.

Or is that sort of question off limits?

Lidian said...

Bill - Sounds familiar (the cereal selection, that is)...We had Product 19 mostly, and Total - very occasionally the Cocoa Krispies or Captain Crunch would turn up, but I never knew quite when - or why.

TilT - That does look like a hangman's hood, now that you mention it. I always like the ads that are mystifyingly loopy.

Tori - I always thought that cereal with little dried marshmallows in it was really exciting, which shows you what my 1960s were like.

FreshHell - I understand entirely because the Lucky Charms cereal was really horribly boring. It existed only to provide a background.

The American Homemaker - I will come check out your blog, I love your name! And welcome to the Kitsch and Retro.

Stephanie - You know, I never stopped to think, but that is an excellent question. It really doesn't make sense, but then neither does wearing bright yellow with lavender.

Shay said...

Volto eats too many Grape Nuts and he'll be wishing that costume had a zipper....

Lidian said...

Shay - LOL! He'll have to switch to Special K!

Marcheline said...

Volto puts the FLAKE in Grape Nuts Flakes!