Sunday, June 21, 2009

The Heavenly Twinplex

Hey, lady! Yeah, you with the odd staring expression. You know what you should get your guy for Father's Day? A razor blade sharpener, that's what. He will use and appreciate it daily!

Unless he has a beard. In that case, he probably won't use it at all. And he might not appreciate it.

And you - hey, you, mister! I guess you belong to the lady: you have both been stunned by the same zombie curse. In which case...should she really be getting you a Twinplex? It is pretty sharp. And you don't look ready to handle something dangerous.

Still, clip this ad! Oh wait - you are going to need scissors for that. Sharp scissors. Maybe you should just tear out the ad as best you can. Then leave it where she'll see it. Hmmm. But she's walking around in a hypnotic state. She wouldn't notice a clipping even if it was dancing on top of the piano singing "Tie Me To Your Apron Strings."

Maybe you'd better just put the ad right in front of her face and shout, "I want a Twinplex!"

Then you can tell her the secret you have learned: a sharp blade shaves better. Wow, that is an amazing truth! And usually you have to pay at least fifty cents to get secrets like this. Why, just look how happy the guy at the bottom is. Is that shaving cream on his face or a Santa Claus beard? And he has the same staring eyes as the couple at the top. I believe that has something to do with the Twinplex.

I think he may be sharpening a pencil with it. Because after you shave, you just want to go on using it and bragging about it. I think we must have had a Twinplex bolted to the walls of every classroom in elementary school.

Happy Father's Day!

Another fine product from Chicago, from Popular Mechanics, June 1946.


Tori Lennox said...

I think these people have all been hypnotized by that rising tie!

And imagine that! It's the EDGE OF THE RAZOR BLADE that actually does the shaving! I'm sure glad they cleared that up!

Eric said...

Oh, the edge of the blade... I guess that's how I've been doing it wrong.

Anonymous said...

Looks pretty scary to me! What do you do, crank it while you have it against your face? Are you sure this isn't an ad for hamburger!?

Love your blog, girlie!

Hairball said...

I think the Starlight Hypno-Mint is responsible for their condition!

Kath Lockett said...

Maybe it shaves away brain cells as well as whiskers?

Chris@Maugeritaville said...

So that's how they're shaving over in Creepyland. Nope, they just don't make 'em like that anymore.

Lidian said...

Tori - Yes, they certainly look surprised to have learned all that about razors.

Eric - Stunning information, isn't it?

Alterity - I think you are supposed to sharpen your razor blade while looking very happy and holding the sharpener dangerously close to your face (without looking at what you are doing, of course).

And thank you :)

Hairball - I think it really might be!

Kath - Yes, which is something that these folks can ill afford.

Chris - They don't! And these are collector's items, too - I almost put up a couple of links re that.

Marcheline said...

And to think I've been trying to remove body hair with soap, cream, and lather all this time! Silly me!