Thursday, June 25, 2009

A Lovely Swank Tie

Different and glorious
Truly uproarious
Lovely swank wrinkle-proof tie

Amaze all your friends
With the means and the ends
Of your quest to become a cool guy.

Amazing, spectacular
Glowing vernacular
Questioning yes no or maybe:

You're a guy who thinks girls
Adore glow-in-dark churls
And appreciate being called "baby."

This tie is so bold
Leaping into the fold
Of what guys think no girl can resist:

Glowing letters appear
But the "me" is unclear:
Is the guy or the tie to be kissed?

Either way, it's a No.
Any girl will say so,
But here is some wonderful news:

The most tacky of ties
Distracts even sharp eyes
From the hideous state of your shoes.

Another fabulous find from Chicago, Popular Science, March 1945.


Tori Lennox said...

Every time I start to type something about this product I find myself without words to use.

But I am curious about kissing in dark crowds. Do they mean like at a movie theater? Or an orgy....?

Eric said...

'A classy tie by day', lol, how very 'James Bond' of it.

Hmmmm... I wonder if the ladies would blush at the glow in the dark message on my underwear?

kathcom said...

The use of the word "pulsing" in this ad makes me a little ill. I can't explain it...just, yuck.

Hairball said...

There's only one word for this tie.


Meghann said...


Anonymous said...

Yup, yup - high class tie...:)

Heather Cherry said...

Now THAT is sexy.

GoRetroGirl said...

Ah, another bit of neckwear meant to be used as girl bait! Boy, the public was sadly misinformed back then.

Lidian said...

Tori - I'm not sure that they thought that statement out.

Eric - Somehow I don't see James Bond wearing one of these...

kathcom - Yuck is right.

Hairball - Yes, absolutely. This is one cheestastic ad!

Meghann - Yes indeed.

Grace - Aimed no doubt at high-class guys.

Heather - LOL!

GoRetroGirl - The people who made this thing definitely were, too.

Amy said...

oh my, tacky LOL

StacieinAtlanta said...

This is so cool! My husband could really use one.

Alicia aka "Fashiona" said...

Seems like instant birth control to me. I would be screaming in terror.

Lidian said...

Amy - It certainly is!

Stacie - LOL!

Alicia - I think it really would be quite startling in person!

Bill said...

What's a 'Dark Baby'???


Lidian said...

Bill - Oh dear, I didn't see that...

Marcheline said...

I think the key to this ad is the first two words: "Men! Boys!"

And right after the words "SEND NO MONEY" and "FREE TRIAL OFFER" it says "on arrival pay postman only $1.49 plus postage". So it's not exactly free, this trial offer, is it? Or is the free portion of the trial offer the time that elapses between when you order it and when it arrives?