Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Starlight Hypno-Mint

Look deeply, deeply into this 3D starlight mint...It has magic power! It will hypnotize you at a glance. Yes, it will! Maybe. The ad at least will hypnotize you into putting a dollar in an envelope, right?

The hand that is holding the Hypno-Mint seems to consist of two thumbs. And from the bottom of one thumb long hair is growing, which ends in a small spooky head. And the head is very definitely enthralled by the swirly thing. There's your proof that it works, right there!

So whatcha going to do with the little head, now that it's in your power, oh two-thumbed hand? Well, you can "make people obey your commands without subject's knowledge." OK, but a little head isn't going to be able to do much for you, is it? In fact I wonder how the head put all that makeup on, and applied all that Frost-and-Glow to her hair (she must have had to use about 3 boxes, too). I think the head's the one with the magical powers, really.

Still, a magic coin and 25 lessons in hypnotism for only a dollar is quite a bargain. And who knows what else the American Circle Corporation made. Circular things, no doubt. Plates, buttons, smiley-face stickers? Could you hire them to make crop circles in your field?*

What we do know is that they made the best Starlight Mints ever. Although if you really want to hypnotize someone with a piece of candy, I recommend Belgian chocolate.

* They made novelties, actually. Some of which were not in fact shaped like circles.

9 comments:

Eric said...

Mmmmm... Cote d'Or chocolate...
Hypnotized...

Me-Me King said...

When we were little kids, I tried to hypnotize my sister once. I don't think it worked, I didn't have Hypno-Coin.

Tori Lennox said...

Wouldn't anything you could actually hold in your hand be three-dimensional? I'm just sayin'.

Tiggy said...

A free hypno-coin for only one dollar? Bargain!

Mike Riley said...

You'd be surprised what a little head could do for you...

Lidian said...

Eric - Exactly...See, they should have made it a chocolate gold coin, like the ones you see at Christmas.

Me-me - If only you had had this one!

Tori - Yes, it would. I do not know why they are congratulating themselves on this.

Tiggy - Plus 25 hypnosis lessons!

Mike - But this is not a brand of confectionary...

Hairball said...

Aren't the two thumbs are going to get all sticky from holding up that mint?

This ad is just plain weird!!

Relax Max said...

But, to make people obey your commands without knowing they are obeying, surely that is worth $1. If it weren't true, they couldn't say it, right?

Lidian said...

Hairball - Yes, they are. And yes, it is.

Max - It most certainly is worth a dollar. And of course it must be true, these people are magical geniuses!