Saturday, July 4, 2009

Frank Holiday

Safe, yes. As long as you keep this disturbing child away from the barbecue pit. Perhaps.

Sane? I just don't know. Throw a Weeny Party and expect it to be sane? Consider, if you will, the holiday menu: Weeny Crackers. Weeny Rockets. Weeny Cannons. Also a frankfurter dressed up as Uncle Sam in drag.

There's no telling what will happen here.

But (you are asking, I am sure) what will I serve to compliment my Weeny Cuisiney?

The strange boy on the left - deeply under the influence of Red Dye No. 2, or hot dogs, or something even stranger - has a few suggestions:

Meat Loaf: well, perhaps he could sing - but just a little. Maybe he could invite Dr. Frank N. Furter to come along, that'd be fun. (I suspect that the latter is the mastermind behind that little figure on the plate, don't you?)

Sausage: redundant, yes, but whatever - let's not argue with someone who has such a disturbing stare.

Fancy Cheese: please leave the Everyday Cheese at home. Actually, this ad is pretty cheesy just as it is. So leave the Fancy Cheese in the fridge, too.

Lemonade and/or Milk: I think we might need something a little stronger, actually - and I believe that this boy knows all about that. Because clearly he's been getting into Ginger's ginger ale.

After all, this is exactly the sort of fun occasion Ginger would be in on, isn't it?


A very happy Fourth to everyone who is celebrating it!

Once again, many thanks to SA Steve at Flickr for the perfect retro ad!


Eric said...

LOL, great commentary!
Fourth of July celebrations will never be the same for me after seeing this disturbed ad. I would make a bad joke about the meat cannons, but this is not the time nor place. ;)

Anonymous said...

That whole thing grosses me out - both pics ...ewwww

~~louise~~ said...

YOU! Just made my day!!!!

Happy, Happy

Tori Lennox said...

Wait. Isn't that the same kid as from that ginger ale ad? Or is it his evil twin? Creepy, either way.

Lidian said...

Eric - Happy 4th! Yes, some other time...I'm sure I can find some more unsettling ads that we can make jokes about.

Grace - Yes, this is How Not To Do It all right.

Louise - Happy 4th! :)

Tori - Yes, I'm sure they are related. Wonder what the rest of the family is like?

Hairball said...

That kid is wearing is hyped on something and wearing way too much lipstick.

Was there a rule that kids had to be creepy, bossy, or just plain annoying in vintage ads??

Lidian said...

Hairball - I think there may have been a rule like that...Just like kids in modern commercials are required to be smart alecky or unsettlingly cutesy. Or sometimes both, ugh.

And I agree, Franky needs to go easier on the Tangee.

Amy said...

That's one scary face on the child!

Greg said...

Sanity seems to be a serious issue for this boy. Eyes just a little too wide....

And yes, the subtext of firing sausage rockets at his face is just a little confusing and Disturbing.

Lidian said...

Amy - Absolutely.

Greg - There is so much to be bothered by in this one, isn't there?

Marcheline said...

They just had to put the word "SKINLESS" in there, eighteen times larger than everything except that kid's head, didn't they?

Okay, so if the weenies are skinless *shudder* then why are they all red on the outside?

The possible answers to that are worse than I care to go into.