Thursday, July 30, 2009

Make Way For Weaklings

Oh, I think I know what your job is, Mr. Atlas.

It is standing at a table in your bathing suit, making dolls that look just like you.

This is an "actual photo" of Charles Atlas, grinning at his craft table, you see. The skinny dolls are on the right, and the little Charles Atlases are over on the left.

The All-Over Muscle and Strength and Energy come out of little pots. I don't know whether he dips them in the pots, or paints the stuff on them with brushes.

It takes about 15 minutes per doll, apparently. I do not want to let him make ME a new man though - I don't want some new little man running around the house! Our cats would probably terrorize him - I don't care how much Strength goo he has been shellacked with.

Maybe the little weakling dolls have to pay their money first. But it doesn't look like they have all that much extra cash. Where are their wallets? Hard to say. And their money is - well, tiny. Tinier than Monopoly money, even. I don't think Charles Atlas will be smiling quite so much when he tries to collect his fees from them, do you?

Advertisement from Popular Mechanics, June 1946.

13 comments:

Tori Lennox said...

I find it interesting that the Charles Atlas dolls all bear a remarkable resemblance to the Academy Awards' Oscar statuettes.

Eric said...

Ha! Tori is right, Oscar Atlas...
I like the psuedo scientific jargon like 'dynamic tension' and '15 minutes', haha.

Now, I must go trowel on some 'energy'.

beth said...

One wee weakling has apparently had an aneurysm. No doubt from being so close to that towering hunka man candy. And really, is it a requirement to manufacture men while in your fruit of the looms? I'm glad Charles had the decorum to place the craft table at, um, waist level.

The BoBo said...

Ha ha! You know, the funny thing is I remember these ads being in all of my comic books when I was a kid. It also had a little side comic next to it with the weakling getting sand kicked in his face at the beach by a musclebound oaf. I also remember being 8 years old and actually cutting out and sending that thing in. I don't remember if I received anything back or not. Afterall, I was 8 yrs old and probably didn't mail it correctly.

CastleberryAntiques said...

I think they could make a lot of money if they just manufactured men. Maybe make them to order?? I'd definitely fill out the coupon for that!

Kath Lockett said...

Bless him but he 'turns' weaklings into men, not 'manufactures' them, even though he's got pots of peanut butter and glue relabelled there ready to go.....

....and could his undies be any higher? One more inch and he'd be a semi-naked Rainman!

Anonymous said...

Charles Atlas inspired me to get fit. Check out his website at www.charlesatlas.com
He is an Icon and an amazing man!

Lidian said...

Tori - They really do. Maybe he gave them out as fitness awards - the Charlies.

Eric - I like a nice bit of jargon in my retro ads, too.

beth - LOL! That table IS at about the right height.

The BoBo - I have an Atlas ad with a comic-strip story, just like the ones you saw. I remember them too, in every comic book - I think it was a law that you had to have one of these ads in there.

Castleberry - That would have been good! If only they had thought of that.

Kath - His suit is the bathing equivalent of what we call 'Fred Mertz Pants' around here. When we watch I Love Lucy it is always an added laugh to see how high Fred has his pants hiked up! lol

Anonymous - Thanks for the link.

Bill said...

Those Lilliputian he-men would be no match for a cat.

Lidian said...

Bill - Not even our lazy, relaxed cats! :)

Brandon Burt said...

Oh, you're right; this is how Academy Award statuettes are made.

And the pre-made "weaklings" look like aliens: tiny, scaled-down versions of the "grays"--you know, the ones who are always abducting humans and applying probes in the most disconcerting places.

I'm getting seriously spooked about the Hollywood film industry.

Lidian said...

Brandon - There's just so much we don't know about the Oscars! ;)

Marcheline said...

Ah, the good old gays... I mean "days"...

Pardon me for asking, but what bulked up hunky man wants other men to be just like him, and thus increase romantic competition?

See what I mean?

Dude isn't thinking about competition, he's stocking up his harem!