Thursday, July 9, 2009

What Ever Happened To Baby Alice?

Who are these "leading baby specialists" who are so approving of a medieval wire torture device for infantile thumbs? I notice that none of them are giving their names.

And if it's so comfortable, I'd like to see some of those guys wearing it. The surgical dealers, too. Let's see you go around with a big old thumbscrew on and see how that works out.

I know why they aren't naming any experts' names. Those experts probably know - at least subconsciously - that Baby Alice is going to grow up and come looking for them. And she isn't going to be coming over to say thank you, either.

In fact, she's all grown up and very, very angry. There's a dark movie behind this ad, all right. Paging Bette and Joan...

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Thanks so much to my pal Heather for the ad (I'm guessing it is from about the 1920s).

17 comments:

Tori Lennox said...

And I fail to see how that would keep the baby's thumb out of the baby's mouth anyway. Babies will put just about anything in their mouths.

kathcom said...

Maybe it would work if the wire were barbed, but that would be just plain mean.

Nowadays, it would just be a tool guaranteed to get your child into protective custody and out of your hair for a while.

Diane said...

these types of curious devices so intrigue me! nice find!

FreshHell said...

Is there a similar device called the Suck, Suck Sweet Charlotte?

Eric said...

It's a good thing my parents used the Baby Habanero Thumb Guard on me instead, I kind of like the taste of metal wire.

Grace said...

What idiot thought this was a good idea?

Joel Klebanoff said...

I don't even want to think about what sort of devices this company might have come up with to help toilet train toddlers.

Lidian said...

Tori - Or they will just use another finger.

kathcom - Too right it would.

Diane - All the credit for finding this gem must go to Heather! :)

FreshHell - I wouldn't be surprised, but I don't really want to see an ad for it.

Eric - I think these folks also made the Baby Habanero!

Grace - It's incredible, the things people thought were a good idea.

Joel - Well, no. Let's not even try to imagine that!

Darryl said...

According to my research, the mondel metal is mostly lead.

Bill said...

Why waste time & money with this gizmo? Daddy probably has a hatchet in the garden shed that would work even better.

This ad is really mind-boggling! Can you even imagine the hue & cry if this product appeared in a modern magazine? If I had the disposable income, I'd run it just to enjoy the reactions of apoplectic parents.

Hairball said...

Poor baby!!

Jennifer said...

Yes: A Very Bad Idea!

Lidian said...

Darryl - Oh dear, that makes it even worse, and I didn't think that was possible.

Bill - It's hard to believe people weren't outraged by this when it came out, but - I guess not. Maybe some were.

Hairball - Yes, indeed.

Jennifer - About the worst idea I've seen in awhile!

Rebecca said...

And to think, now when they want to change a childs behavior they only poison their bodies with chemicals.

Thank goodness we're so much more educated.

Lidian said...

Rebecca - That's progress for you, supposedly.

The Crazy Suburban Mom said...

OMG! This is the worst thing ever! Baby thumb prisons?

Marcheline said...

"Inexpensive"... great! So the metal part will detach within minutes and the wire can be ingested by Baby Alice. She sure won't be concerned with sucking her thumb as she's being rushed to the emergency room to remove the wire cage from her gullet!