Saturday, August 1, 2009

Nature Abhors A Vacutex

Jim and Sis have a little problem. Their faces look like poppyseed muffins. And this is not a good thing, because they are not little cakes in a bakery, but hapless teens looking for love in all the wrong places.

Or at least for a date in all the wrong places. Perhaps a blind date would be best. A date with astigmatism, even.

But Jim and Sis don't seem to be able to - well, connect the dots - or the blackheads. They just don't know why they aren't popular. You'd think Sis, at least, would have a clue. Instead she says, mysteriously: "Ask your friend Tom."

Perhaps Tom and Sis used to be an item, before she broke out. Or maybe Tom is a dermatologist. Or a Vacutex salesman. Because he suggests that Jim and Sis invest in this revolting little "scientific" vacuum thingie - the Vacutex. Doesn't it look terrible?

But that's what you get when you have been "careless" and are guilty of "blackhead crime." You must be punished for this crime!

My favorite part of the ad is the final cartoon panel, where Jim and Sis have barged into a party and say aren't you all glad we used the Vacutex. The other guests can't bear to make direct eye contact with them, and wear silly frozen smiles of dismay. And the piano playing girl looks positively cheesed off.

Jim, I think you may have to dig a little deeper for the reasons you are unpopular. But I am not sure if the Vacutex has quite enough vacuum power for that.

This dramatic, yet scientific 1952 ad is from Wikimedia.


Tori Lennox said...

Yeah, what makes Tom such an expert? Has he suffered from excess blackheads himself?

And, yeah, that final panel is priceless! All it needs is a thought balloon over one of the other guests' head that says, "Who let THEM in?"

Lidian said...

Tori - There's a lot we don't know about this little drama, and Tom is no doubt at the center of the mystery.

It almost looks like the people at the party don't know who Jim and Sis are - perhaps they are crashing a stranger's party? Or can no one recognize them with clear skin? (What a depressing thought!)

Shay said...

I'm always puzzled by ads in which girls are given a helping hand in the date department by concerned brothers.

All my brothers ever did was threaten to beat my dates up.

Lin said...

Gees, Tom doesn't beat around the bush, does he??! Isn't there a kinder way of saying your face looks like a poppyseed muffin?

Brandon Burt said...

"Even cute girls become careless." I just hope Sis remembers that when her newfound popularity finds her out on some deserted country road with Tom when he's looking for some of that "scientific vacuum action."

Sis, beware! The Toms of this world are only after one thing!

Fortunately, from the looks of it, Vacutex is equally effective at stabbing shallow, tactless party-boys in the neck.

Lidian said...

Shay - And why she would consider another guy, the brother's pal, as a source of help, is just beyond me. Totally unrealistic!

Lin - I know! Tom has a few issues in the dating world too, like being totally tactless.

Brandon - LOL at Tom and his search for "scientific vacuum action"! So that's what all the kids are calling it these days...Hope Sis brought that pointy Vacutex with her, as you say, it makes a nice light weapon.

Bill said...

Skin so smooth & flawless that they resort to cartoons to convince me?

That girl at the piano is thinking "Not really, but we're sure sorry that you heard about this party."

Lidian said...

Bill - That is EXACTLY what she's thinking!

autie said...

My social skills are terrible but I would know that shouting about pimple remover devices at a party is not a way to make friends!

Lidian said...

autie - That is very true :)