Monday, August 3, 2009

Old Leg Trouble Paint

Oh, lovely. Here's what to do if you have trouble with your legs (old trouble and old legs, pretty much) - paint them with white stuff! That should help. And the term "Viscose" is so appealing too. The Viscose Home Method of whitewashing your legs with the viscous stuff the make rayon with. You apply it, apparently, with a paintbrush.

If you mention your trouble to Dr. M.S. Clason, of the Dr. M.S. Clason Viscose Co. (eww), he will send you a FREE BOOK. Thanks, but no thanks! This fine CHICAGO! product is from 1936, from Argosy magazine.

11 comments:

feefifoto said...

"Milk Leg"? What do you think that could be?

Tori Lennox said...

Somehow, putting some weird paint product on your legs when you have leg ULCERS seems like a Really Bad Idea.

Eric said...

I'll bet this also would work for 'old graffiti trouble' and possibly 'old anything you don't want to look directly at trouble' as well.

Lidian said...

feefifoto - Milk Leg is the lovely archaic term for inflammation of the femoral vein - see here

http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/382525/milk-leg

Tori - It would seal your pores and that just is no good at all...

Eric - Yes, it was probably whitewash, and had a multitude of household uses.

Lin said...

Send me TWO bottles, I have two bad legs!!

autie said...

Oh my goodness, that sounds ridiculous! Who came up with that idea to begin with?

Bill said...

I guess painting your milk leg white might be considered a homeopathic remedy, like soothing an upset stomach with cayenne pepper.
I wonder if you had to provide your own brush? BYOB.

Lidian said...

Lin - You could get the really big bottle, that ought to cover two legs...

autie - Some 1930s doctor in Chicago, it looks like - I was going to try and look him up but I was lazy :)

Bill - Any old paintbrush you had around the house was probably all right. Also paint. Or milk, as you suggest (maybe not skim milk though)

Brandon Burt said...

As a wee lad in the 1970s, my grandmother--who held the firm conviction that long hair on men led to Satanism, effeminacy and the downfall of the American way of life--sent me to Merle's Barber Shop at regular intervals to get my hair cut.

It was a solid, manly establishment and, after only a few years, I successfully conquered my abject terror of the weird, bristly vacuum-cleaner attachment Merle always used to suck up hair clippings. By age 8 or 9, I was an old pro, and one time I was almost able to bring myself to make eye contact with the weird old duffers who sat around the shop talking to each other in utterly incomprehensible terms. Almost.

Instead, while waiting for my haircut, I entertained myself by reading copies of Highlights for Children, which Merle kept stacked on a faux-walnut end-table/lamp combo (what is that piece of furniture called?).

Highlights was a publication that, to me, seemed strange, contrived, out-of-date and vaguely retarded. I felt an odd disconnect upon realizing that its publisher thought of me as its target demographic, yet was so clueless it had absolutely nothing to say. I found myself trying to imagine what it felt like to be the kind of boy who enjoyed reading it. This may have been my first retro-fascination experience.

The real magazine rack, which I never dared approach, contained copies of Popular Sports, Playboy and, yes, Argosy--all encased in vinyl, faux-walnut covers.

What the hell was Argosy? It sounded vaguely threatening.

For that matter, why the hell did Merle keep copies of Playboy lying around? Did guys like to get all worked up before a clipper cut? Didn't it lead to uncomfortable tenting under that plastic drape Merle always used?

And is it just my imagination, or did that plastic drape also sport a faux-walnut print?

The 1970s were sooo weird.

Lidian said...

Brandon - I was forced to read Highlights regularly, I think I had a subscription (not my idea BTW) and it was just as you say. A universe of out-dated Dick-and-Jane type awfulness.

Merle sounds just like my first driving teacher, actually. You won't be surprised to learn that I failed my road test, as he was more concerned with me pretending to adjust the mirror to impress the test guy, than with my driving.

The 70s really WERE weird. I still haven't got over the strangeness of the 50s-70s (as you can see).

Marcheline said...

I'm guessing this product is a sort of paint-on support hose. As it dries, it probably shrinks and squeezes. Which probably led to men using it on appendages not specifically mentioned in the ad...