Thursday, August 20, 2009

Paper Towel President

Well, gentlemen, our next ad account is from the Scot Paper Company. No, I don't know where the other 't' in Scott went. We need a paper-towel ad concept and I think I have something really good. Something that will really sell those paper towels!

Imagine this: an ad starring that well-known boxing champion, Abraham Lincoln. Because he liked to clean up his own spills - he was a man of the people! When he was at his desk in the Oval Office, having a burger for lunch, he'd wipe up the mustard he got on the desk. With Scot Paper Towels, in fact. True story.

And here's the best part of having Lincoln sell paper towels: he'll be made out of wet, soggy paper towels.

And we'll call him Mr. Thirsty Fibre - that's a tough-sounding name. We'll spell 'fibre' the British way to really emphasize that this is just a good old American tough-yet-soft paper towel.

Oh, and when you make Mr. Abraham Thirsty Fibre? Make one of his coattails look like a horse's tail, will you? And be sure his pants are a little bit short. I believe the technical term for this is - wait for it - floodwater pants.

[This delightfully loopy 1940 ad is from Duke University's Medicine and Madison Avenue collection.]

10 comments:

Tori Lennox said...

Hmm. When I first saw this, I thought it was Willy Wonka. Guess not.

Hairball said...

If those "fibres" are so darn thirsty, why does Mr. Lincoln look all drippy??

David said...

Where I come from they are called high water pants.

But as for that allegedly missing T from Scot, it is in reference to the peoples of Scotland where one is a Scot. They later tried to Americanize by adding that second T one sees today.

I'm just saying...

Eric said...

Just so we're clear, the 'Scot Paper Company' has nothing to do with the 'Michael Scott Paper Company', right?

The Crazy Suburban Mom said...

This is especially creepy. One of those what were they thinking? man...what WERE they thinking?

Lidian said...

Tori - It's Willy Wonka's cleansing-product-obsessed cousin, maybe.

Hairball - Because he's not made of Bounty, the quicker picker-upper, and is all saturated out.

David - Ye, that does make sense...I did think that it was a surname Scott, though. Hmmm...

Eric - Never heard of that company - now I have two things to look up!

Tracy - I would LOVE to know what they were thinking. Maybe.

Kath Lockett said...

Are you sure it's Abe and not an angry Leprechaun who is mightily sick of being given the royal flush by the evil(and larger) gnomes?

Relax Max said...

Ah, the wacky world of paper towel advertising. I think it looks like a horse tail, too. :)

Bring Back Pluto said...

Funny! Clever stuff!

Bring Back Pluto
"ONE of THE GUYS"

Lidian said...

Kath - I hadn't thought of that. But it's a distinct possibility.

Max - 'Tis a wacky world indeed!

Bring Back Pluto - Well, thank you :)