Wednesday, August 26, 2009

The Soda Jerk

It's back to school time (not quite yet for some of us, but soon enough) and here is a little retro homework tip for you all, from Ginger's older brother:

1. Make friends with a giant bottle of Seven-Up. Tell it you like it. You can sense that it also likes you! (Maybe there is some bizarre dating opportunity in here, but let's just leave that one alone for now).

2. Sit down together with your homework. Open up a few books and place them decoratively around the desk light. Try not to knock them over with your elbow.

3. Put your arm around the Seven-Up bottle and give it a smoldering look of desperation. Gosh, I thought you said you knew how to do long division (burp).

4. Realize that you have been transformed into an awkward line drawing with strangely proportioned arms and hands, and a tiny sunburned head. What in the world are they putting in Seven-Up these days?

5. Wait for the giant soda bottle to answer you. Read a few comic books while you are waiting.

6. Tell the teacher the next day that you couldn't do the math homework because some strange Seven-Up bottle wandered into your room and spilled soda all over the desk.

7. Next day: see if Pepsi is any good at American history.

Thank you Janet at Found In Mom's Basement, who found the ad at Community LiveJournal (link is on her page).

26 comments:

Eric said...

Seven up never had the answers to my homework in high school, and it never will. :)

Beth said...

Oh, Lidian, you make me bubble up with laughter!

Bill said...

At least the youth has some fashion savvy. His boat-neck shirt coordinates splendidly with the ship's wheel clock.

GoRetroGirl said...

At least this guy, unlike his kid brother Ginger, is pretty cute. I do like the graphics and color contrast of the green and orange/red.

Thanks for the visit - and for noticing my new header! My blog was long overdue for some jazzing up.

Patrick said...

Haha! I bet there was some alcohol at the board meeting responsible for this ad. As always, your keen eye spotted the important details -- two thumbs up!

Lidian said...

Eric - It always says that the answer to every math problem is - well, seven. That is its favorite number. Consequently, it is usually wrong.

Beth - You make my day delightfully effervescent! :)

Bill - There IS a strange nautical subtext here, but I am not sure what it means. I am thinking of a lame joke about him being all at sea but - no, must keep thinking.

GoRetroGirl - I like the colors too. You are inspiring me to do a new header for KR, too!

Patrick - Vodka and 7 Up, I suspect! And thank you :)

Tori Lennox said...

I see we were also blessed with YET ANOTHER giant floating head. What's up with that???

Susan DeAngelis said...

I'm a math teacher -- if I get any 7up excuses for hw, I'm gonna know where they came from... lol

:) Great post
I don't want to go back to work!
sigh
Sue

Lidian said...

Tori - Dare I suggest that they may be coming from Chicago?

Susan - You are a gem, teaching is incredible and hard work! :)

Leeuna said...

?? what's with the doughnut on top of his little shrunken head? I'll never drink 7-up again.

Amy said...

gosh is that what happens when one drinks 7-up, it could be a good candidate for alice in wonderland when she shrinks too

Lidian said...

Leeuna - The doughnut, you see, is his little after-school snack. But it isn't very good at academics, so it is just sitting there (cue doughnut/doughhead joke here)

Amy - Yes, of course! This is the 50s male version of Alice (if it wasn't really late I would make some jokes, I sense them but am just too tired. Perhaps need some large bottle of soda to assist me)

Christopher said...

I like the kid's Ronald Reagan hairdo.

The Crazy Suburban Mom said...

You find way better ads than me!! seriously...
Tracy :)

wngl said...

we had 7up ads in our grade school classroom in the 70's, tin placards rusty around the edges but never failing to make us kids super thirsty -and I'm a 7up drinker to this very day! When I drink pop, that is, which is pretty rare anymore.

Doctor Faustroll said...

7-Up helped me pass my last colonscopy test, but I was never romantically involved with anything that comes in a green bottle, except absinthe.

Lidian said...

Tracy - I beg to differ! We both are pretty great at finding ads, I think (she said modestly hanging her head)

wngl - That sounds more refreshing that the decor in our early-70s classroom!

Doctor Faustroll - Well, absinthe makes the heart grow fonder!

(not original, wish it was)

Lidian said...

Christopher - He is rather Reaganesque around the head! :)

The Crazy Suburban Mom said...

The day I found all those vintage magazines at that estate sale was life changing. Even though my family cant stand them...lol...so yeah they are a bit moldy and they say whats that smell every time im reading them ....but geeze, get over it already :)

Lidian said...

Tracy - Same here, no one really understands why I love musty old magazines but they put up with them (and me) ;)

Tom Stiff said...

Ginger Ale: Santa's little helper.

It keeps his ginger up! (Life; 12/12/1938)

Lidian said...

Tom - I've bookmarked this one for December, it's great! Thank you so much :)

Dawn said...

You just know this poor kid had no choice but to be friends with the 7-Up. Sadly, it was so much like Wilson and Tom Hanks, just so so much creepier.

Lidian said...

Dawn - Yes, it was a very persuasive bottle of soda, apparently.

Hairball said...

A five gallon bottle of 7-UP just screams drinking problem to me.

Marcheline said...

Silly, that's not sunburn. His face is red because Mom caught him doing more than homework with that 7-Up bottle!