Friday, September 18, 2009

Flattery Will Get You Everywhere

Here's the plan. Buy up a lot of Kleenex. And paper towels. And toilet paper. Go crazy, why don't you.

Because after you stock up, there's a whole lot of sybaritic fun in store. You can get a free imitation-gold pin, that's what.

Or maybe you really want to splash out. If so, you can "have yourself a spree" and order up all six pins with "Florentine gold color finish." This is guaranteed to last at least a week before it rubs off.

Then sit back - and let the flattery begin!

The Leaf Star will tell you that you're the real star. It is insincere flattery though. The Leaf Star is aware of who is and is not a star. And unless you have the word 'star' in your name, it isn't you.

The Circle Pin will talk in, well - circles. You're great, really really great! Did they mention how great you are? Oh, that reminds're great!

The Golden Puppy will just bark excitedly. Just tell it to calm down before there's an accident. What sort of accident could this possibly be? Maybe the gold finish comes off all at once, who knows? This may be where all the paper goods come in handy.

The Double Wishbone is the symbolic equivalent of flattering someone while crossing fingers behind one's back. Don't believe anything it says.

The Joyful Dancer is too busy dancing joyfully to talk to you. And joyful dancing (or any dancing) is not easy when you're frozen in place. So please don't interrupt.

The Leaf Cluster is forever in a huddle, trying to come to a consensus. They all want to say different things. You will hear arguing, not flattery.

And if you do go on that spree and buy all six - do they all talk at once, or do they take turns?

[Thank you so much to Graphic Design -TJS Labs for this one, which is from 1965.]


Hairball said...

Oh my! I must have all six pins so I can make the gals at the grocery store green with envy!!

Do you think wearing them with a tiara made from tinfoil would be too much?

P.L. Frederick said...

After spilling, sneezing, and pooping there's nothing I enjoy more than flattery.

P.L. Frederick (Small & Big)

Needless To Say said...

Florentine gold makes me think of rich, Corinthian leather...

Lidian said...

Hairball - I think a tinfoil tiara would set them off perfectly.

P.L. - I couldn't agree more, I enjoy flattery too (especially from costume jewellery).

Needless To Say - It is very like rich Corinthian leather, only cheaper.

The Crazy Suburban Mom said...

What is a flatter pin? Is that really some kind of pin? Like a sorority pin or something? And that dance pin is so odd looking. Its so funny how sometimes the giveaway doesnt match the this :)

Tori Lennox said...

I see the ad men were smoking funny cigarettes again and this time, apparently, gave some to the execs at Kleenex....

Lidian said...

Tracy - I don't think anyone really had thought out what was meant by the term 'flatter pin.' I suppose the idea was that it would flatter your outfit, but looking at them it seems unlikely.

Tori - They all had a really good time with those funny cigarettes! lol

ceemee said...

I thought they were called such because they were just imitations of gold. You know, imitation is the best form of flattery? I find your write up hilarious.

PS: I love your new header!

Relax Max said...

The Golden Puppy keeps drawing me back to this post. Mysterious.

Lidian said...

ceemee - That makes sense, I didn't think of that. And thanks! I like it too.

Max - It must be like the Golden Compass, only yappier.