Saturday, September 26, 2009

Getting Set For Life

Store Owner: Can I help you, sir? Don't get many Foreign Legion officers round these parts, you know. Maybe I can interest you in some sun lotion...

Salesman: Well, actually I have an Amazing New Business and I am sure you'd like to see what I've got here. Take a gander at these Counter Card Goods!

Store Owner: What in tarnation are Counter Card Goods supposed to be?

Salesman: Well...I don't rightly know. But I was told that this is part of my Big-Pay Route.

Store Owner: I see. What else you got there?

Salesman: I have 200 products! How about some aspirin?

Store Owner: We sell that already, sir. This is a general store.

Salesman: OK, what about razor blades? Or even better: Chocolated Laxatives! No one can resist a Chocolated Laxative. I know I can't.

Store Owner: I'm sorry, we have razor blades. And laxatives, both chocolated and plain. We are ready for anything, sir!

Salesman: But - but - we're supposed to make up to 140% profit on this, both of us! This is an amazing new business - that's what the World's Products folks down in Spencer, Indiana, say in their big catalog...[Leaves store, furrowing brow deeply] Can't think what's went wrong there. Hmmm. Must be the hat.

9 comments:

Hairball said...

"Big-Pay Route"

Thanks, but no thanks. I'm holding out for the Extra-Super-Duper-Ginormous-Pay Route.

The Crazy Suburban Mom said...

Do you think this was the start of that store, Spencer Gifts?

Tori Lennox said...

When I first saw the words "counter card goods", I thought he was peddling picture postcards. He might have had better luck placing those....

Lidian said...

Hairball - I'd like one of those too, please!

Tracy - Maybe, I have no idea - I will try and find out (how, I do not know, but I'll try)

Tori - Depends on what kind of postcards they were, maybe ;)

filmtub said...

wow.. nice work. How many viewers do you have per day?

Grandy said...

It usually is the hat... :)

scottsabode said...

Do you have any un-chocolated laxative?

Lidian said...

filmtub - It's different every day - I'm not sure why more people visit some days rather than others...

Grandy - Yeah, it is ;)

scottsabode - No, I don't believe I do.

Jessica Cangiano said...

Ahhhhh, back in the good old days when get-rich-quick-scheme "infomercials" were still in their primitive printed form ;D


Your blog always brings such a smile to my face, thank you!!!

♥ Jessica