Monday, September 14, 2009

The Valedictorian

Strike up "Pomp and Circumstance" on the stereo - it's Graduation Day. And the valedictorian of the Class would like to welcome you to the kitchen auditorium with a few words:

I couldn't be more thrilled to graduate to a flameless electric range. And as I look at all the little faces of the cans in the cupboards, who have gathered here today in my honor - I must tell you, it is perfectly overwhelming.

I put on extra mascara today, because I knew that I would be crying hysterically with joy over my oven. More mascara means more drama! Plus I will be doing the Maybelline makeup-remover ad after this one.

And I've got Groucho Marx glasses from last Halloween. And a mortarboard, too. I made that out of an earless Mickey Mouse hat (size extra small), a piece of black cardboard and an old curtain tassel. I will probably win the Most Creative Craft Project award for that. I don't believe any of the canned goods in my class made anything to rival that.

Yes, it's fabulous to graduate to this oven. A truly special moment. How many people have the privilege of dressing up like idiots to look at the inside of an oven, while laughing maniacally?

And I'm pleased to tell you that I'll be attending graduate school in the fall. I'll be majoring in Fridge Studies, with a concentration in Ancient Leftovers.

20 comments:

Unlikely Oilfield Wife said...

LOLOLOL! This is the best yet!

Eric said...

She looks so smart with the comically large glasses and matriculation gear. I'd go so far as to say she understands the complexities of electricity and how it could be used in an oven.

Ron Eklof said...

Very funny, of course, the material is inspirational.
Ron

Lidian said...

UOW - Thank you, I kind of struggled along with this one for the last couple of days...

Eric - You raise an excellent point. She really should not be anywhere near an oven.

Ron - It was indeed an inspiring ad...though does not carry over to me and my own less sparkling and intellectual oven! ;)

The Crazy Suburban Mom said...

Oh man, you know its so odd... even that ads show how little was expected of gals back than.


yikes

Lidian said...

Tracy - I know! It is horrible, really. Mind you, I don't think things are much better now, but like I say around here: don't get me started! :)

Kathryn said...

You've just reminded me: I have to clean out my oven. All that Ellio's pizza bubbling over makes such a mess....

Hairball said...

Too funny, Lidian!!

*notices the oven only has one rack in it*

Oh no! The killer is in the house and he has her second oven rack!!

Lidian said...

Kathryn - See, I think all ovens should just clean themselves! Like this one is supposed to. I wish I could teach mine to.

Hairball - Uh oh...didn't notice there was only one rack!

Relax Max said...

So, this picture was taken from...where? This is magic. You should have investigated this incredible trick photography. But thank goodness she graduated to flameless. Flames just don’t belong in a stove.

I liked this. Good job.

June said...

Aha...so this is what the "future leaders of the world" did on THEIR graduation day!
Well, now, that explains everything!

scottsabode said...

Now if only she could encourage her oven to become a doctor she could marry it and give up her career altogether!

Lidian said...

Max - This is from a 1968 Good Housekeeping, should have mentioned that. It is probably going to be best if she never turns the oven on - it'll stay clean and it is much safer!

June - It does explain a lot...

scottsabode - Maybe that happens in the 1969 version of the ad.

Buggys said...

What a great find! I always love the ads that you share. The good old days.

Jen said...

I have a look quite opposite of hers when I look in my oven. Maybe if I had graduated I'd be happy to see what I just burned. Funny thing is I think my oven is one of those, original and from that time period.

Lidian said...

Buggys - No kidding, the good old days! ;)

Jen - We used to have a 70s oven, an ad for which I have and will post another time (I think we might need to move away from the oven for this week at least). I also have a very different look when I am peeking into the oven! lol

David Middlecamp said...

So what did the salutatorian get? An EZ Bake oven?

Lidian said...

David - Of course! lol

Relax Max said...

I didn't mean what magazine the picture came from, I meant where was the photographer standing when he took the picture. Maybe he was just a little guy standing in the back of the oven. ;)

Lidian said...

Max - Oh, sorry. I see what you mean! Yes, I think there must have been a little guy at the back of the oven. The oven cam!